Staying cool in Africa heat

One of the good things about my husband's job is that he can usually get us into some cool places for free.  We've seen both of the local minor league baseball teams play several times this season.  Today, we are going to a local water park and I am paranoid we are going to come back with a fungus.

Now, I don't trust The Husbadn not to pee in a pool instead of going to the bathroom, so why should I trust hundreds of strangers?  I am a germ-a-phobe and I just think those places breed disease.  I'm sure I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill since if that was the case, the health department would shut them down.....right?  Right???

The reason I'm saying we'll go is because it is friggin' HOT out!  And not the kind of hot where in the shade is ok....I'm talking this must be the temperature of Hell.  In fact, Hell might be a little cooler, I'm not sure.  Hence why I said ok to the water park and my husband called in a favor and got us free tickets.  Hopefully, this should at least cool us off a little.

Um....yeah....so....

Haven't blogged in a while - sorry.  I told you I was non-committal!  Speaking of...I did soooo good tracking my WW points until I took my cheerleaders to cheer camp last weekend.  I have to, once again, get back on the wagon.  I was doing really well though for a while.

So what's currently on my mind....the desire to stay at home and possible rethink teaching.  I have been a teacher since 2001 and when I started, I had a real passion, a fire if you will, for it.  I would stay late, come in early, and *gasp* bring work home....on the weekend!  And I'd do it!!!!  Holy shit!  I haven't done any of those things in how long....hmmm.....  What people who have never taught full time don't realize is that the job really and truly burns you out.  You can't go in to work and "lay low" because you don't feel good, or you're hungover, or it's Monday.  You have to be "on" 24/7 at your job when you're a teacher.  Even when you give "busy work" with worksheet at their desks, you still are policing behavior and answering questions, and making sure they are doing their work.  And with the oh so wonderful No Child Left Behind, teachers have to make sure they are teaching to competency tests and answering to all sorts of extra demands that extend beyond the classroom.  I'm now understanding why, during the prarie days, there were school marms - women who were old maids with no children - teaching school.  It's so they could eat, sleep, and breathe teaching!  It's a hard job.  Summer break is just about the only thing that keeps teachers in the game. 

Since having CSC, I've really had a struggle about what I should be doing now that I'm a mother.  Realistically, I don't have the option to stay at home.  We rely on both mine and my husband's income to pay our bills.  And we don't have over-the-top things.  We don't go out to eat all the time, we don't have fancy cars, we don't have anything we don't get our money's worth out of, so it's not a matter of making little sacrifices - it's just not financially possible for me to stay home.  Which brings me to what is really on my mind.  This time next month, I will be back at school for teacher workdays and the kids start on the 25th.  That thought has been giving me some anxiety.  I am not looking forward to going back at all.  And this is surprising to me since I would have thought last year would have been tougher with being on maternity leave since April and having a brand new baby.  I was looking forward to it in a way then.  I don't know what it is this time.  Could be CSC is more interactive, could be because I (very surprisingly) have an overwhelming desire to become the 21st century Donna Reed, could be that I'm not overly thrilled at what appears to be my class schedule for this year, could be because I'm really feeling burnt out being a teacher.  Who knows.  But one thing is for sure - I need to figure out what the fuck is going on so I can start to deal with it.

After a much needed chit chat with The Husband last night, he is open to exploring careers that would provide enough income for us to live comfortably in a one-income household.  This change is obviously not going to happen overnight - I did sign my contract for the upcoming school year and I'm not one to back out on an agreement - but hopefully by the end of the 2010-2011 school year, I will be able to stay home and take care of my family in that way.  I would still "keep my feet wet" and try to find an online teaching position.  Those are fast growing and if they are going to offer virtual classes, someone has to teach them, right?  That would give me the best of both worlds and give me a chance to see if I want to continue teaching.  Ideally, I would love to find something (education related or otherwise) that would allow me to work from home at least 90% of the time.  I would have no problem with reporting to an office on occasion, but having my work responsibilities take place anywhere I can access my phone and an internet connection.  We shall see.....keep your fingers crossed for me!

Gettin' Skinny is a habit...get like me

It's been a few days since I've blogged so I figure I'd better get at it before more time passes.  That's the thing that I've noticed about committing to things - making them a habit is a hell of a lot harder than doing them once they are habit.  Take for example exercising.  When I was at my skinniest, I worked out at the gym once a week.  Granted that wasn't that often, but come on!  I was 23!  Regardless of what I was doing, when it was time for that body sculpting class, you bet your ass I was there.  Same thing with WW - once I get into the habit of journaling what I eat, it becomes second nature.  Good news is, I'm back on track with writing what I eat down.  I started this week like an alcoholic - one moment at a time.  To be technical, that's what WW is: AA for fat people.  So I said to myself: "Self, today you are going to write down everything you eat or drink in your WW journal."  But I responded back: "But self, that's such a pain in the ass and I really really need to get on Facebook."  So, after I acknowledged my schizophrenia, I figured I'd take it down even further and just go by one meal at a time.  So far, so good.  I have been writing down everything I've eaten in the past 4 days.  It's not hard either, I have a WW online subscription, and the app on my phone, so it really is ridiculously easy.  I'm actually looking forward to stepping on the scale at the end of the week to see what my weight loss is.

In other more fabulous news!  My beautiful, wonderful, genius daughter did TWO amazing things in the span of 48 hours.  First, at her gym class yesterday the skill of the week involved the kids hanging from a horizontal bar and working towards swinging from said bar sans parent aid.  Well, this one little girl (who I might add looked like she should have been in the next age group up like 4 months ago) was totally bogarting the one side of the bar while the rest of us were standing in line waiting our turn.  She was hanging and swinging and looking like she was about to perform a friggin' routine.  Well, the last time we were at the class, CSC didn't really even grip the bar, let alone hang from it.  Well, my competitive nature flared up and I whispered to CSC: "That girl is going to be competing with you to be on the 2024 Olympic gymnastics team.  What are you going to do about it?"  Well, I shit you not, my child not only hung on to the bar, but did it BY HERSELF, and attempted to swing slightly.  This after her improved balance beam skills and her ever popular forward rolls.  I think I also saw CSC flip the other little girl off, but I'm not positive. ;) 

Another, even more exciting fact is that she actually took some unassisted steps tonight!  I have been panicked slightly about when she'll walk.  She walks really well when holding on to someone's hand, but will not walk on  her own.  Well, The Husband and I have been practicing with her and tonight she did it!  I'm guessing by the end of the month, she'll be cruising around and I'll be wishing she was back to crawling, but at least I'll know my child is not a freak.

I should be in bed, but...

Unfortunately, I suffer from insomnia.  Not the kind that keeps you up all night per say, but the annoying kind that doesn't allow you to fall asleep easily.  So what do I do?  I blog.  What do you do?  You read my blog and recommend reading it to all who have internet access. ;)

Tomorrow morning is my daughter's Little Gym class - which she LOVES - at 10am.  I really love taking her and seeing her interact with the other kids and doing the activities.  She's thisclose to walking on her own, so I'm hoping by the end of the summer she'll be cruising around.

                                                                                          My daughter and my dad

On the news front for my husband, he heard back from the guy at his one job and what the salary range was and what the job entailed SO did not match!  They wanted to pay him peanuts for a job that should be earning at least double what he makes now.  Oh well....back to my master plan: Operation Move Back to Jersey ;)

I made the Skinny Italian recipe Chicken Breast with Lemony Thyme Marinade and it came out good.  I also made the Sexy Italian Dressing for my salad - also good.  For the chicken recipe, I had to use the broiler setting on my oven.  Now, I've heard of a broiler and I know my mother has used one before, but I hadn't a fucking clue what the hell a broiler was or what it did.  Now, I'm no Paula Dean (how she can cook with sticks of butter and not drop dead of a clogged artery is beyond me) but I can get around a kitchen pretty well.  I needed Broiler 101 so I called my mom.  Despite this call, I still am not 100% sure I know what exactly a broiler is, but the chicken turned out good, so all is well.  Now, if I can only get my daughter to quit throwing her green beans on the floor......

Getting (back) into the groove

So the one thing I despise more than packing is unpacking and that is what I finally did today after returning yesterday from our vacation.  I have been a really bad procrastinator pretty much my whole life - hello!  check out anything I've written regarding my weight loss and you can stop being shocked.  I'm not sure what it is.  I keep waiting for there to be an interview on the Today Show with Dr. Nancy Snyderman saying that procrasitnation is a disease that can be treated with large amounts of chocolate medication.  Until that day comes, I just need to learn how to manage myself.  Hell, writing this blog is procrastinating....but it is quite fun. :)

One of the things that depresses me about returning from vacations is getting back into the reality you left behind.  The day-to-day chores and responsibilities you were able to ignore now come screeching back to you and can be avoided no longer.  One of those things was reading my emails from my work account.  Now, I'm a teacher, but I'm also the cheer coach and you can just imagine what kinds of drama can occur in a 24hr period of time working with so many teenage girls and their parents.  Reading and responding to those emails took up a good chunk of my morning.

Another thing that gets me to reach for the tissues, sad that I'm back home, is stepping on the scale to see exactly how much vacation weight I accumulated.  I have yet to do that, but I can say that I stepped on the scale a few times at my mom's (who by the way is a WW junkie and lifetime member and is awesome about making low cal/low fat meals when I'm there) and saw that I lost about 3lbs in a week - YEA!  But I'm still slightly heavier than the last time I actually logged my weight on WW.com - BOO!

I did try a recipe from Skinny Italian last night: Pasta Cacio E Pepe.  It was very simple needing only 1lb of spaghetti, 2 cups of fresh ground pecorino romano cheese, salt, and pepper.  The key, however, is to make sure you save about 1 cup of pasta water to add back to the spaghetti to help the cheese make a sauce.  I remembered this step right as I watched the last drop of water leave the pot. FUUUUUUUCK!  I added some regular water and the dish still turned out ok*, but leave it to me to screw this up.  It was tasty though and I appreciated the "lightness" of the dish.  Tonight I think I'll try Chicken Breasts with Lemony Thyme Marinade.  We'll see how that experiment goes!

*FYI - the reason you want to add pasta water rather than more water from the tap is because the starches from the pasta, and the flavoring from salting the water, help out more so than regular plain water.

Home?

Ok, so we arrived home last night/this morning from our long ass drive from Delaware.  As is the norm, I hold it together saying goodbye until I get to my mom and then I have to hold back the floodgates of tears.  I really really really really really miss my family and Jersey.  A friend of mine (who I had a playdate with during my stay at home) facebook messaged me saying what an awesome time she had with me and my daughter and how she wishes I still lived at home because we'd playdate every week. 

*Add me crying here*

Ugh!  This is sooooo frustrating!  I wish moving back home was as simple as getting a new job and hiring movers, but it's not.  Instead I have to suck it up here.  Don't get me wrong, I don't live in a hell hole or anything; this area just isn't my cup of tea.  My husband deals with it, but he's so friggin' laid back that he'd find some way of dealing with living in a box.  He wouldn't like it, but he's a much better person than I am when it comes to things like accepting your current position.  As I've stated in earlier blogs, I am not, never have been, never will be a Southern girl.  I bleed Yankee blood proudly.  I say "cawfee" and I'm proud of it.  Now please don't misunderstand, I don't hate the South.  I think it's a nice place, but I'm done living here.  It's not my home.  Roots have not been planted.

So the lastest issue I'm wrangling with (aside from my constant avoidance of WW) is my husband's potential new job.  He works in radio and has for the past 10+ years.  Being on the radio is something he LOVES.  Daily, he regrets moving us from Wilmington since he had a choice radio gig there on the local ESPN station doing a local sports talk show.  I've always supported his desire to be a sports talk guy, despite the next-to-nothing pay it makes. (While money is nice, it's not always what makes people happy day to day)  In addition to working for a news talk station (no longer does sports since our move inland), he also works for a sports broadcasting company that produces college games.  He's done some on-air work for them with pre-, halftime, and post-game shows.  Recently, his boss there has presented my husband with a full-time opportunity as entry-level management.  The job would include having 8 people report to my husband, extensive off-season travel, and a great deal of responsibility - more so than he's EVER had before.  Now, my husband has had little, if any, experiencing negotiating his salary.  He just is happy to be able to be paid to do what he does.  Well, on April 24th of last year, our lives changed with our beautiful baby girl and we're looking at a whole new ball game.  My husband is afraid to ask for a salary that would (granted in my opinion, but still) reflect how much time and effort is being put into this job.  He's afraid that they will laugh at his suggestion.  I say no....negotiations start high and work from there.  I keep telling him: what's the worst that could happen?  They say that wasn't the figure they had in mind and you find a common ground in the middle?  Ok...what's wrong with that?  We shall see....

So while I was home, I went to a book signing by RHONJ Teresa Giudice for her cookbook Skinny Italian.  Needless to say, I almost shit my pants when I got to meet her.  Here I am waiting in line wracking my brain as to what I could say or ask her and what comes out of my mouth when it's my turn:

"I'm so friggin' excited to meet you!"

And that's it.

I'm sure Teresa was like "Um...ok freak" when she took my book to sign, but if I'd have attempted to say anything else, I would have cried.  I was really star struck seeing her there.  Here is this real person I watch RELIGIOUSLY every week.  Not an actor playing a role, but a real person who's life I get to watch.  I felt like she was my bff.  I doubt she even remembered my name 2 seconds after signing my book.  Oh well....

Since Teresa's cookbook talks all about healthy ways to cook food (her zuchini salad was AWESOME and I hate zuchini!) I'm going to try out all her recipes to see if I turn into a skinny Italian. :)

Summer, Family Vacations, and In-Laws

One of the best things about being a teacher is having the summer off. Anyone who is or has been a teacher understands that summers off is a necessity of this occupation. It's a release from having to deal with all the "wonderful" kids and even more "wonderful" parents all school year. It also gives me a taste of what it's like to be a stay-at-home mom. I love love love my daughter to death and really wanted to do something just me and her this summer. So I signed her (us) up for this really great class at the local The Little Gym. Since my child has been a tumbler since her time in utero, I thought this class would be perfect for her. And it is...she LOVES it! She gets to practice walking (NO she's not walking yet at 14 months and if another person asks me and then gives me an "I'm sorry" face after hearing my response, I'm going to get violent), tumble, and spend time with kids her age. It's a great class for her.

Another joy of summer I have is reading. As a high school English teacher, I don't get to read for pleasure during the school year, so summer allows me some downtime to check out some great books. Currently, I am reading Not Ready for Mom Jeans by Maureen Lipinksi. Totally relate to this book! The main character talks about how hard it is to balance work and family while listening to the opinions of others about both. Highly recommend to all moms who work! Makes you and your feelings seem normal. I have to credit the main character with giving my newly found desire to blog - since she runs a blog in the novel.

Talking about leisure activities during summer naturally brings me to family vacations. I like to travel....scratch that....LOVE to travel. I sometimes regret not taking a position right out of college as a chapter consultant for my sorority - it required living out of a suitcase for the better portion of the academic year. Oh well....be that as it may, I enjoy being in other places. The only shitty part about traveling is that it involves packing. The only thing I hate worse than packing is unpacking. Two small prices to pay for the joy of traveling. I can deal. The first vacation we took was back to our old home in Wilmington, NC for a combo anniversary/Father's Day long weekend. We stayed at the Jameson Inn - for their free and awesome continental breakfasts. Since the first night we were there was our anniversary, my husband and I had our daughter, CSC, stay with our friends. The wife happens to be CSC's Godmother and also has a 2yr old little girl herself. The wife does everything just about the same way I do when it comes to raising our daughters, so I felt as comfortable as I could leaving my child with another person who was neither myself nor my husband. Now, on a side note, I don't give a rat's ass what other people have to say about when is the appropriate time to leave your child overnight with anyone. If you are a mother, you understand that no time is a good time. Having a child is really like having a piece of your heart walking around outside your body. (I can't take credit for that saying since someone else said it first, but I have no effing clue who they are) So The Husband and I went to the fondue restaurant and had a couple of drinks in Downtown Wilmington. Did I have a good time? Yes. Did I wish I was going home to my daughter? Abso-fucking-lutely. I didn't sleep one wink that night and was ready to go retrieve CSC by 6am. Needless to say, having her staying away someplace for a night won't be happening anytime soon. Just an FYI, our friends lived, oh 10 minutes (with traffic and lights) from the hotel, but it was still too far from me for my taste. 

Now we are at my parents' "beach house" in Delaware. I say beach house loosely since the house is friggin' huge and could easily shelter 2 of our house back in NC. We have come to embrace what has become the annual 4th of July trek to the Delaware Mansion.

The next vacation we plan on taking is to Nashville for my husband's family reunion. For which we will drive, with my MIL, to said destination. That should provide good blog-worthy "fun."