So my last post was a coming out of sorts after the suicide of Robin Williams. Consider this one to be an update, if you will.
So I've been seeing my therapist (not to be confused with my psychiatrist) for almost a year. I have mixed feelings about him, but finding a therapist is so effing hard that unless he does something really messed up, I'll stick with him. Anyways, during a visit with him several weeks ago, towards the end of the session, he tells me that he wants me to talk to my psych the next time I see her because he "hasn't completely ruled out the possibility of my diagnosis really being bipolar II." Da Fuck??!!? Wouldn't that have been pertinent information to share when I was, oh I don't know, IN THE BEHAVIORAL HEALTH UNIT BACK IN MARCH!!! I ask him exactly what about me is tripping him out to this conclusion and he proceeds to tell me that he's observed symptoms of hypomania when I've been in his office. Again, would have been useful to know this earlier, but better late than never.....? Apparently, the rapid speech I have from time to time cannot be attributed to the fact that I'm from Jersey and everyone talks fast. There have also been patterns of behavior from my past and present that would help scoot me into that category. Awesome. I ask him how exactly to bring this up to my psych and how this would be diagnosed. He tells me to just say that he thinks I may have bipolar II. Ok. What about my diagnosis - how exactly do we confirm the new illness? I'm told that I'll be put on meds that treat bipolar II and if they work, voilà. WTF! So I have to be a medical guinea pig??? There's no other, practical way to do this? Really?!!? Then he asks if I would like for him to talk to my psychiatrist. Gee, ya think?! Shouldn't you have been talking all along since I had to fill out the paperwork that said it was ok for you two to talk about me behind my back and compare notes?
Whatever, so I have my appointment with my psych and tell her what my therapist said about the whole bipolar II stuff. (I asked her if she had spoken with my therapist and I was told they kept "missing each other.") She doesn't flinch. She doesn't look surprised. She actually agrees that I may have bipolar II. Seriously, people?! Why am I the last to know this? So I pose the question to her: how do I go about being correctly diagnosed?
"Well, we will put you on a low dosage of lemictal and see what happens."
"Seriously? That's it?"
"Well, it's not an exact science, but we can figure that if the meds work, then you have it."
"Great, well, tell me about lemictal."
"Are you prone to rashes?"
"Um....no....why?"
"Because it is known to give patients a serious rash that needs to be treated immediately at the hospital."
"Yeah, I'm not real big on that. Any other options?"
"There's trileptol."
"Does it give you a rash?"
"No, but it can make you drowsy, so take it at night."
"Sold."
And that was it. She gave me a scrip for trileptol and off I went. Since these meds, or any head meds, take a few weeks to see if they actually work, I had to wait for my follow up appointment. Over the next several weeks of my taking it, I did notice an improvement in my irritability levels, which is how hypomania can manifest in some people. I report back to her about this and she starts telling me that she'll up the dose. So I ask if this means that I have bipolar II. She said yes. Ok, then. All my life that I have been dealing with mental health issues, I always thought it was just depression and anxiety. After learning more about bipolar II and how it can show up in people and that there is a sliding scale as to how much it impacts the individual, everything started making sense. Now this doesn't mean I'm a different person, or that I'm somehow suddenly psycho, but it does explain a little how I can be the life of the party at times, or how some people think I'm a raging bitch.
So off I go to learn as much as I can about bipolar II. Because, honestly, why should the way to diagnose someone with a mental illness involve a drug trial instead of a simple test?
So I've been seeing my therapist (not to be confused with my psychiatrist) for almost a year. I have mixed feelings about him, but finding a therapist is so effing hard that unless he does something really messed up, I'll stick with him. Anyways, during a visit with him several weeks ago, towards the end of the session, he tells me that he wants me to talk to my psych the next time I see her because he "hasn't completely ruled out the possibility of my diagnosis really being bipolar II." Da Fuck??!!? Wouldn't that have been pertinent information to share when I was, oh I don't know, IN THE BEHAVIORAL HEALTH UNIT BACK IN MARCH!!! I ask him exactly what about me is tripping him out to this conclusion and he proceeds to tell me that he's observed symptoms of hypomania when I've been in his office. Again, would have been useful to know this earlier, but better late than never.....? Apparently, the rapid speech I have from time to time cannot be attributed to the fact that I'm from Jersey and everyone talks fast. There have also been patterns of behavior from my past and present that would help scoot me into that category. Awesome. I ask him how exactly to bring this up to my psych and how this would be diagnosed. He tells me to just say that he thinks I may have bipolar II. Ok. What about my diagnosis - how exactly do we confirm the new illness? I'm told that I'll be put on meds that treat bipolar II and if they work, voilà. WTF! So I have to be a medical guinea pig??? There's no other, practical way to do this? Really?!!? Then he asks if I would like for him to talk to my psychiatrist. Gee, ya think?! Shouldn't you have been talking all along since I had to fill out the paperwork that said it was ok for you two to talk about me behind my back and compare notes?
Whatever, so I have my appointment with my psych and tell her what my therapist said about the whole bipolar II stuff. (I asked her if she had spoken with my therapist and I was told they kept "missing each other.") She doesn't flinch. She doesn't look surprised. She actually agrees that I may have bipolar II. Seriously, people?! Why am I the last to know this? So I pose the question to her: how do I go about being correctly diagnosed?
"Well, we will put you on a low dosage of lemictal and see what happens."
"Seriously? That's it?"
"Well, it's not an exact science, but we can figure that if the meds work, then you have it."
"Great, well, tell me about lemictal."
"Are you prone to rashes?"
"Um....no....why?"
"Because it is known to give patients a serious rash that needs to be treated immediately at the hospital."
"Yeah, I'm not real big on that. Any other options?"
"There's trileptol."
"Does it give you a rash?"
"No, but it can make you drowsy, so take it at night."
"Sold."
And that was it. She gave me a scrip for trileptol and off I went. Since these meds, or any head meds, take a few weeks to see if they actually work, I had to wait for my follow up appointment. Over the next several weeks of my taking it, I did notice an improvement in my irritability levels, which is how hypomania can manifest in some people. I report back to her about this and she starts telling me that she'll up the dose. So I ask if this means that I have bipolar II. She said yes. Ok, then. All my life that I have been dealing with mental health issues, I always thought it was just depression and anxiety. After learning more about bipolar II and how it can show up in people and that there is a sliding scale as to how much it impacts the individual, everything started making sense. Now this doesn't mean I'm a different person, or that I'm somehow suddenly psycho, but it does explain a little how I can be the life of the party at times, or how some people think I'm a raging bitch.
So off I go to learn as much as I can about bipolar II. Because, honestly, why should the way to diagnose someone with a mental illness involve a drug trial instead of a simple test?
