Sunday, May 17, 2015

Let's Talk. Ending the Stigma.

As part of Mental Health Awareness month, I have been trying to post something (usually many somethings) on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to help bring awareness to at least the small community of people I know - or who follow me.  During these last few weeks, I have had several people reach out to me thanking me for my posts, sharing their own stories, or simply giving me love.  To those, I say thank you.  The biggest reason I want to flood my social media forums with so much information is because I'm really tired of the stigma that is associated with mental health.  No one wants to talk about it.  And my question is: Why aren't we talking about it?  I think I know the answer: there is a stigma, but what does it look like?

Allow me to shed some light.

Stigma is.....

- Having a boss who, when you have a breakdown at work, sits as far away from you as possible and asks why you never shared this with her because sometimes she "feels out of it too" and "gets bummed".

- Having co-workers who will send "Get Well!" cards to people who had out-patient surgery, but not to you when you spend a week in the Behavioral Health Unit.  Actually, it's having no one from your job "community" check in on you in any way.

- Having a boss who, when you go to collect your things from the job you can no longer work at because it's a trigger, comes no closer to you than the door frame.

- Having the same boss get a frightened look on her face when you ask to borrow a pair of scissors.

- Having former co-workers go around telling people that you "went nuts" and are "crazy" because you "flipped out for no reason" at work.

- Hearing people misuse the term "bipolar" to you when talking about someone whose mood changes.

- When someone asks if I've tried "just not thinking about it".

- When people suggest that someone is "schizo" because they are joking about having more than one personality.

- When people ask: "So it's ok for you to be around kids for your job?"

- When people ask: "Well, if there is no test for it, then how do know you really have it?"

- When people ask: "What about your daughter? Are you ever like that in front of her?"

- When people suggest that I might freak out at any time.

- When I'm not allowed to get pissed off or angry because I'm having an "episode".

I could keep going, but I think/hope you get the idea.  No wonder why people who have mental illness don't want to talk. Why would they?  When someone says that there is an issue with their mental health, it is automatically assumed that they can't be trusted or are unstable or unsafe to be around.  Yes, there are some who will accept them, but it's not a given.  It also doesn't help when bad news is reported and the person who is guilty is said to have been suffering from a mental illness, thus associating mental health with negativity.  Just like any other illness, when managed, a person can live a very healthy and productive life.

What I would love is for mental health and screenings to be as frequently talked about as getting tested for AIDS or checking for lumps in your breasts or testicles.  I would love it if friends and loved ones were as quick to suggest getting a check up for mental health symptoms like they would be about a cough or pain that hasn't gone away in a month or two.  Mental health has stages just like any other illness.  You wouldn't wait until you or a loved one displayed symptoms of a disease at stages 3 or 4, so why does it have to be that way for mental health?

Do you want to know what you can do?  It's simple really.  If you are in a conversation with someone and they make an unkind comment about mental health, correct them the same way you would if they had said AIDS is the "gay disease" or anything else that is false.  If you know and love someone who just doesn't seem like themselves, ask them if they are feeling ok and have seen a doctor.  Go with them if they are afraid or need help.  If you know someone who has an illness, be a support system for them. Don't know how to do that? There are TONS of resources online - NAMI or Bring Change 2 Mind are two good ones to check out.  Don't know about a specific mental illness? Google it and read up on it so you can be informed.  There are a ton - anything that causes the brain to function differently is a mental health condition; some are more serious than others.  Just like any other illness or disease.  I have been posting a ton of information on my Facebook - repost it.  Everyone is quick to change their profile pics or covers for national pride or AIDS awareness or any other cause, why not this?  Mental Health Awareness Month is only for the month of May - think you could change your profile pic and/or cover for the next two weeks?  Help start the conversation.  Help stop the stigma.





Friday, April 24, 2015

What is going on in the mind of a 6 yr old.

Catherine's stats for her 6th year of life:

1. What is your favorite color?
Blue

 2. What is your favorite toy?
My Elsa doll and My Little Ponies

3. What is your favorite fruit?
Watermelon

4. What is your favorite tv show?
Power Puff Girls

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich

6. What is your favorite outfit?
My dress with diamonds

7. What is your favorite game?
My Little Pony on the iPad

 8. What is your favorite snack?
Frozen and princess gummies

 9. What is your favorite animal?
Alicorn (half unicorn/half pegasus) and a dolphin

10. What is your favorite song?
"Let it Go"

11. What is your favorite book?
Frozen

 12. Who is your best friend?
Carleigh

13. What is your favorite cereal?
Reeses Peanut Butter Cup cereal

 14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
Play kitten family and regular family

 15. What is your favorite drink?
Chocolate milk

 16. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas and my birthday

 17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night?
My squirrel, Meow-Meow, Bunny, and Violet

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
Frozen cereal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday?
Noodles with butter

20. What do you want to be when you grow up?
An art teacher

Friday, January 16, 2015

I'm a majestic unicorn

As a mental health patient, I need to see both a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly in order to maintain good mental health - much in the same way diabetics or heart patients needs to see their specialists.  Well, I went to see my psychiatrist today and discovered that I am quite the unique individual.

So, I mentioned to her that I picked up this book about bipolar 2 disorder so that I may continue to expand my knowledge and know how to manage my symptoms.  What pissed me off, and I shared this with her, was that the hypomania addressed in the book was specific to that of elation and euphoria.  Well, kids, I can tell you that is not the only kind of hypomania.  I wish I was "blessed" in that way, but I'm not.  Wanna know what happens to me? Do ya, do ya?

When I have a hypomanic episode, I become aggressive and irritated and angry.  Not the kind of irritated you get when you're headed to the grocery store and you left your list at home.  I'm talking the kind of irritated that makes you yell and scream at those you love because you have zero patience.     For my anger - you know how some people say they have a "short fuse" for a temper?  For me, in a hypomanic state, that fuse isn't short.  It's nonexistent.  It means that when my daughter asks me a simple question, I will reply by yelling, using inappropriate language, and sometimes telling her to go away and leave me alone.  I don't want to say more because I don't need social services coming to my home.  Now for my aggression, fortunately, it hasn't escalated to physical violence yet, but I can feel it under the surface.  Right now, all I've done is a door slam or throwing a small object across the room.  If I ever get off the meds that control my mood....I can easily see myself getting thisclose to pulling a Teresa and flipping a table.  Literally.  Or worse.

I asked my doctor about support groups, which are out there, but they will usually address topics universally and, in the case of hypomania, it will be focused on the euphoria.  So I'm pretty much SOL.  In response to this, I told her that if anything came across her desk in the way of support groups for the rare ones like me, or if a doctor wanted to "study" me to get more information and learn more, I'm all for it.  Not only do I want help for myself, but it's super important to me for there to be help for others.  I know what it's like to not have it, and it sucks.  Having the right kind of help can make the difference between life and death.  Literally.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

2015 > 2014

For me, 2014 started off not so great.  I was in denial, though, since the year started with my birthday month and I kind of look at that as my "New Year," plus it's hard for me to be negative when it's my personal holiday.  As the year went on, it sucked more and more.  Some of the biggest life challenges I have ever had took place in the first half of the year.  Things started turning around after that, and the year ended much better than it started, but I have "2015" thoughts moving forward:

2 things I learned this past year:

1) One of the most important and effective things to gaining and maintaining positivity is to live in the moment and enjoy what is in front of you.  The past is gone and you can only plan so much for the future.  Anyone who knows me is aware of my OCD when it comes to planning things out and knowing my options; that lovely quality will never cease, but instead of ignoring and missing out on the wonderful people, moments, and accomplishments in front of me, I am making the conscious decision to enjoy them when they are right in front of me.

2) Just when I thought I had a hold on what I knew, I was wrong.  I thought I knew what mental illness I had.  I thought I would never find a job in this area that I loved as much as the one I left in NC.  I thought my marriage was always going to be the cliché.  I thought I had lost certain important people in my life.  I thought I wouldn't find people I could think of as good friends like the ones I left behind when I moved.  I thought I was a selfish bitch.  I thought I wouldn't feel happy about my body.  I thought I was always going to be about 20-30% shy of complete happiness.  I was wrong about all of them.

0 in on one thing to improve this upcoming year:

I would like to focus this year on our family budget.  I'm the one who will open up the spreadsheet and calculate the month's bills to see what's happening with our money. There are always months where we feel like ballers and months when we think we may have to select which cardboard box we'll move to.  I'm tired of that shit.  I see all these things out there, from people I personally know, about how they saved X amount or payed down X amount of debt.  I want that to be me.

1 thing I hope to learn:

I hope to continue to learn more about myself as a person.  The older I get, the more I recognize qualities about myself, many of which I like.

5 things that give me hope for the new year:

1) Love
2) Knowledge
3) Friendship
4) Faith
5) Inner Strength

Boo ya, bitches!
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