Wow! Has it really been since January that I've posted a blog?!? What can I say, I'm busy... With teaching and taking care of CSC and having a long-distance marriage and trying to sell a house and trying to find a job and everything else in between, the last thing I had time for was to update my blog. Quite frankly, there wasn't anything to update. In my head, I had only slacked off minimally with my paleo lifestyle, but the truth was beginning to stare me in the face as I was trying to button pants that were loose not too long ago. Not to mention that my face has puffed up again, and those lovely back fat rolls have popped back up....gotta love those. What the hell! How did this happen? AGAIN!
Let's review:
I started doing paleo with Dr. Schafer and it worked really well. It was tough at first, but after a while it became easier to do. I was losing weight, but even better, I FELT better and looked better. I honestly don't care what the scale says since I base everything off of how my clothes fit and how I look in the mirror. Well, all it took was for my visits to run out and Christmas to come and off the wagon I fell again. (Why do I bother trying to get on a wagon when I keep falling off?)
I should have known something was up when people stopped complementing me on how great I looked, how much weight I'd lost, etc. I also could have put the friggin' donut down, but there's no sense in dwelling in the past. Oh wait, the past is hanging out in the form of FAT ON MY ASS!
It's funny because you always think that your good friends will tell you to put the damn fork down, right, but here's the deal. They love you too much to hurt your feelings. I thought about it by putting myself in my friends' shoes: I figured that they already assumed that I saw for myself what was happening and didn't need someone else reminding me by shoving it in my face. I know that there's not a person on the planet who I'd say, "Hey there, think maybe you should put that fork down since your ass barely fits on the chair?" or perhaps "Do you honestly think you need that donut/piece of cake/extra slice of pizza/3rd trip to the buffet?" Granted, not many are as blunt as I am, but I'm sure you can think of a variation that is kinder, but still gets the meaning across.
So when did reality hit you, Aimee?
It happened over Easter weekend, actually. I was at my parents' Delaware Mansion when I decided to step on my mom's scale. I don't have one in my house and the Wii is in DC with The Husband, so there went any source of weight gain knowledge I had. Imagine my reaction when I stepped on the scale and saw I was almost the weight I was 2 WEEKS AFTER BIRTHING MY DAUGHTER! What.The.Fuck. I was expecting a gain, but not this. I went to the living room and just sat on the couch staring into space in utter depression. Of course, my mom came over and asked what was wrong, and the tears start rolling. I didn't want to waste my youth being "the fat mom who let herself go". What kind of a role model is that for my daughter? My well-meaning mom said all the right/wrong things that kept me crying because I already knew them. "You need to buckle down." "You have to really want it and commit to losing weight." "You've done it before, you can do it again." It's not that I DON'T want to lose weight, or that I DON'T want to put forth any effort. It's so damn frustrating when it seems like it takes not time at all to put on the weight and it takes FOREVER to take it off. It's not very motivating when my effort yields little results. This is the reason why I occasionally turn to the "lose weight quick" diets to jump start me. When I see that I drop weight pretty well, it keeps me going to want to maintain it.
Since I'm a Pinterest addict (who isn't really), I try to look for all sorts of pins for my "Thinspiration" board, and I stumbled across one that gave me some great resources for starting over. I know the paleo thing works, but I have to be honest, it'll work better when TH and I are back under one roof doing it together. When I have to try to cook something for just me and CSC, it usually boils down to me just feeding her something super simple, but I'm honestly not hungry enough to cook myself dinner. I'll just have a bowl of cereal or something. I decided to start using the FREE app "Lose it"
to start counting my calories. It worked for the chick in the blog, and she lost the same amount I'm hoping to lose. (Right now I'm her "before" pic) I've been using it since the day before Easter, and I've lost 5 lbs. so far! I fully accept that it could very much be water weight, but I don't care. The bottom line is it's weight that isn't on my body anymore and there's more to come off. What I like about it is that you can scan the bar code of whatever food you are eating - whether or not it's name brand or store brand - and it'll tell you how many calories it is for the serving since. Don't get me wrong, I still like WW tracking app, but unless it's a name brand, the scanner doesn't recognize the food. I keep my WW subscription because they do have great resources, especially for recipes.
That's my update for now. My next step is to start making exercise a routine, but first I need to make sure this new food tracking stays a routine. I think it's 21 days before something becomes habit? I may start adding exercise before then, but it's easy for me to say that considering I'm on my spring break this week. Stay tuned!
Let's review:
I started doing paleo with Dr. Schafer and it worked really well. It was tough at first, but after a while it became easier to do. I was losing weight, but even better, I FELT better and looked better. I honestly don't care what the scale says since I base everything off of how my clothes fit and how I look in the mirror. Well, all it took was for my visits to run out and Christmas to come and off the wagon I fell again. (Why do I bother trying to get on a wagon when I keep falling off?)
I should have known something was up when people stopped complementing me on how great I looked, how much weight I'd lost, etc. I also could have put the friggin' donut down, but there's no sense in dwelling in the past. Oh wait, the past is hanging out in the form of FAT ON MY ASS!
It's funny because you always think that your good friends will tell you to put the damn fork down, right, but here's the deal. They love you too much to hurt your feelings. I thought about it by putting myself in my friends' shoes: I figured that they already assumed that I saw for myself what was happening and didn't need someone else reminding me by shoving it in my face. I know that there's not a person on the planet who I'd say, "Hey there, think maybe you should put that fork down since your ass barely fits on the chair?" or perhaps "Do you honestly think you need that donut/piece of cake/extra slice of pizza/3rd trip to the buffet?" Granted, not many are as blunt as I am, but I'm sure you can think of a variation that is kinder, but still gets the meaning across.
So when did reality hit you, Aimee?
It happened over Easter weekend, actually. I was at my parents' Delaware Mansion when I decided to step on my mom's scale. I don't have one in my house and the Wii is in DC with The Husband, so there went any source of weight gain knowledge I had. Imagine my reaction when I stepped on the scale and saw I was almost the weight I was 2 WEEKS AFTER BIRTHING MY DAUGHTER! What.The.Fuck. I was expecting a gain, but not this. I went to the living room and just sat on the couch staring into space in utter depression. Of course, my mom came over and asked what was wrong, and the tears start rolling. I didn't want to waste my youth being "the fat mom who let herself go". What kind of a role model is that for my daughter? My well-meaning mom said all the right/wrong things that kept me crying because I already knew them. "You need to buckle down." "You have to really want it and commit to losing weight." "You've done it before, you can do it again." It's not that I DON'T want to lose weight, or that I DON'T want to put forth any effort. It's so damn frustrating when it seems like it takes not time at all to put on the weight and it takes FOREVER to take it off. It's not very motivating when my effort yields little results. This is the reason why I occasionally turn to the "lose weight quick" diets to jump start me. When I see that I drop weight pretty well, it keeps me going to want to maintain it.
Since I'm a Pinterest addict (who isn't really), I try to look for all sorts of pins for my "Thinspiration" board, and I stumbled across one that gave me some great resources for starting over. I know the paleo thing works, but I have to be honest, it'll work better when TH and I are back under one roof doing it together. When I have to try to cook something for just me and CSC, it usually boils down to me just feeding her something super simple, but I'm honestly not hungry enough to cook myself dinner. I'll just have a bowl of cereal or something. I decided to start using the FREE app "Lose it"
 |
| "Lose It" app |
That's my update for now. My next step is to start making exercise a routine, but first I need to make sure this new food tracking stays a routine. I think it's 21 days before something becomes habit? I may start adding exercise before then, but it's easy for me to say that considering I'm on my spring break this week. Stay tuned!
