No, that's not my child

Since making the first one, I'm hair bow obsessed!  I've been pinning various tutorials because I'm bound and determined to master the art of hair bow making.  So imagine the jackpot I hit when, after coming out of Bed Bath & Beyond, I saw over at Michael's a bin filled with spools of ribbon for $1 each!  I totally stocked up on the cute ones I found and had to stop myself from buying everything.

Since I needed more clippies for said hair bows, CSC and I went inside to check out what they had.  It is virtually impossible for me to just go into a store straight to what I need, get it and walk out without looking around the entire store.  Even Lowe's or Home Depot!  It's like a sickness, really.  Well, as we were going through the store, I'm sure many of the lovely shoppers knew my daughter's name since I had to call it so frequently due to her wandering tendencies of "Ooh Mommy!  Look at this!" or "I want this, Mommy."  It's times like this when I think child leashes are a God-send and wish I'd had one.

We get to where they sell the clippies and they are out of the ones I need.  Poop.  Oh well, off to pay for my shit ton of ribbon.  After the almost 10 minutes it took us to get to the line because CSC had to stop and pick up those flowers and then find a price sticker only to throw it repeatedly and then she had to pick up some wooden pieces meant for painting and ask what each one was and then she had to check out the $1 stationary bin.... I felt like that old school Bill Cosby bit where he talks about the little boy, Jeffrey, on the airplane and the mother is constantly going: "Jeffery!  Will you come here, Jeffery! Jeffrey!  JEFFREY!"  That was me with CSC.

So we're waiting in line and as we wait, CSC wants to rearrange the lollipops in the display.  Ok, fine. She's not bothering anyone...she's quiet...no worries. Then it gets to the point where we are next and I try to coax her away from the display.  She tells me she's busy....something she says quite often now when she doesn't want to do what you ask.  I tell her that when it's our turn, I'm going to go and leave her.  She says, "No, Mommy. Stay here."  I tell her I can't and then I realize it's my turn.  I say to her, "Ok, it's my turn.  I'm going.  Bye."

I turn the corner to go to the next available register when I hear it.....

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! 

Followed by the most high pitched, blood curdling scream.  It was like she was getting stabbed or something.  I'm sure the other customers were staring at me.  God only knows what they were thinking, but I honestly don't care.  I got up to the cashier and said to her "That child is not mine."  Meanwhile I was wishing a hole would open beneath me and swallow me up, or that I could at least do this:

I often tell myself in these situations that there is nothing I did wrong, nor was there anything I could do at the time, except ignore it so she'd stop.

CSC did come running up to me, crying like she was just told Santa wasn't real, and grabbed onto my leg....so I kind of had to claim her at that point.  As I took my bag, I apologized to the cashier, and quickly walked out of Michael's.

On the way to the car, I told CSC she provided a great deal of birth control for many shoppers that day.  Her response?  To fall asleep in the car like a little bitch angel, and stay that way the whole ride home.

"I'm a BIG girl!" - CSC

Recently, my daughter has adequately reminded everyone who has told her she is a little girl that she is, in fact, a BIG GIRL.  Not to brag....well, maybe a little...when I was grocery shopping yesterday three separate people stopped CSC and me to let her know she was a pretty little girl.  CSC did not hesitate to correct them with: "NO, I'm a BIG girl!"  And so it begins....

My daughter, wearing an outfit of her choice, doing her "FABULOUS" pose.

Since CSC is no longer a little girl, it was high time to move to a big girl bed.  When we registered for her bedroom furniture, we didn't take into account the fact that the company could discontinue that model.  And that is exactly what happened to us.  Months ago, I went on a wild hunt for the full size bed rails to convert the crib to a bed.  I figured there was no point in going to a toddler bed, buying those rails too.  Total waste of money.  Now before you judge because you have just realized that she's 3 and still in a crib, the pediatrician said there was no rush to move her and if she was cool with sleeping in a crib, then so be it.  Plus, I needed to have The Husband home in order to put the bed together.  Not that I'm incapable, so not the case, it was just a two person job.  And what do you need for a full size bed?  Why a full size mattress, of course!

TH is "home" this weekend because of a work function that just so happened to be here, so we decided this was the weekend we'd finally convert the crib and get our kid a mattress.  We went to Rooms to Go Kids where the lady there was clearly in need of a glass of Chardonnay, or a smile, whatever.  She showed us two mattresses and tried to convince me the box spring was a necessity when I could get a smaller platform to help support the mattress (less expensive than the box spring, BTW).  I told her that I wanted the bed lower to the ground since my daughter is part pygmy and I didn't want her to struggle getting in and out of bed.  Debbie Downer said that not getting a box spring would make the bed lower to the ground, so obviously I wanted a box spring.  Yes, you read that right....clearly, Debbie needed to pay attention.  After getting the details - how much and when it would be delivered (in 2 weeks! WTF!!) - we said thank you, collected CSC from off the top of a bunk bed and headed next door to Mattress Plus.  The guy there was super helpful, as he had a 3 yr. old himself.  He recommended several mattresses and suggested we also try them out since, let's be honest, there are going to be times when we'd be sleeping in there.  We decided on a mattress that has some of the memory foam qualities, but is still sturdy.  It came with a 10 year warranty, AND the mattress cover comes with a 10 year warranty too.  Not only that, he waived the delivery fee!!! and the mattress is getting delivered tonight!  Whoo hoo!

CSC got in the way helped us as we took apart her crib and transformed it into a full size bed.  Remember how I said the crib design was discontinued?  Yeah, the rails didn't come with instructions and I had to use my awesome Google search skills to find them online.  Yeah, about halfway through we had to figure them out for ourselves because what they were telling us to do didn't match up with the pieces we had.  WTF!!  Bottom line, we got the thing together and are waiting for the mattress to be delivered.  As for a room re-do, here's a pic of what I'm ordering for CSC.  I almost went for our signature zebra pattern, but thought this was cuter.  What do you think?

DIY? Don't mind if I do!

Spending so much time on Pinterest lately has inspired me to make something.  I have been feeling crafty lately, and I enjoy a good project every now and then....especially when I don't fuck it up.

My daughter has the thinnest hair EVER especially considering how thick my hair is and how much her father is covered in hair himself - we were convinced I was going to birth a wookie when I was pregnant with her.  I haven't cut it because I'm hoping it'll get thicker, but I may have to bite the bullet and get her a trim.  Fortunately, her hair is long enough to do really cool things, like braiding and ponytails, but because it's so thin, it's hard to keep clippies in.  If it's not the right kind of clip, it won't last long in her hair without falling out.  What ever is a mom to do?  Off to Pinterest I go!

I found this tutorial and figured it looked simple enough.  Here is my version:

 You will need:

• 1 yard of 1.5" grosgrain ribbon
• hot glue gun (with glue sticks.....duh)
• a fabric pen
• needle and thread (color doesn't matter since it will be covered)
• ruler
• clip of your choice

 Measure and cut off 5" and put it aside.  It's going to be your knot.

 Measure 3" from the end of the remaining 31" and make dotted marks with the pen.  As you can see, my pen bled a little bit,  but again, it doesn't matter because it'll be covered.  Just don't go nuts with the pen.  You also want it to bleed through to the other side.

 Measure 6" from the first mark you made.  Continue doing this until you have 5 dotted line marks and there is 3.5" remaining at the end after the last dotted line.

 Next you're going to want to double thread the needle.  Now if you're like me, you're thinking "WTF is double threading?!"  If you're crafty by nature, or happen to sew more than just buttons, then perhaps you know what this means.  If you don't, no worries....here's the tutorial I googled.

I know you can't really see the thread...I chose a dark color.

 Take your double threaded needle (make sure you make a pretty big knot at the end) and start a running stitch along the first line you made.  Continue with the next line, but make sure you are folding the ribbon so the back side is showing every other time. If you don't do this, you will jack up your ribbon.

 Once you have sewn through all the lines, gently, yet tightly, pull the thread so that the ribbon bunches.

 Wrap the remaining thread around the center and add a few stitches through the center to hold the shape of the bow.  Before stitching, make sure you've arranged the bow the way you want it and that the pattern side is showing.

 Remember that 5" you cut off?  Fold it in 3rds and knot it in the center.  When you glue it to the center of the bow, you may need to trim it a little so it's not too bulky.

This is the back of the bow after the knot has been glued on.

 You can use pretty much any kind of clippie, but I prefer these with the teeth because they hold really well, especially in thin hair.

 I snipped off a little bit of the ribbon and glued it to the clippie before I glued the clippie to the bow.  With this type of clippie, you can't cover the part that holds the hair with ribbon, otherwise you defeat the purpose of the teeth.  I also cut the tails of the bows into points and sealed them with stuff that helps it not fray.  Supposedly, you can use fire, but I'm not enough of a pyro to test that out.

Here's the finished product.  It's a pretty big bow, so for now my daughter will use it just for a ponytail.  I'm going to attempt to make smaller ones so she can use them as barrettes and for her signature pigtails.  Not too shabby if I do say so myself!  What do you think?