As a mental health patient, I need to see both a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly in order to maintain good mental health - much in the same way diabetics or heart patients needs to see their specialists. Well, I went to see my psychiatrist today and discovered that I am quite the unique individual.
So, I mentioned to her that I picked up this book about bipolar 2 disorder so that I may continue to expand my knowledge and know how to manage my symptoms. What pissed me off, and I shared this with her, was that the hypomania addressed in the book was specific to that of elation and euphoria. Well, kids, I can tell you that is not the only kind of hypomania. I wish I was "blessed" in that way, but I'm not. Wanna know what happens to me? Do ya, do ya?
When I have a hypomanic episode, I become aggressive and irritated and angry. Not the kind of irritated you get when you're headed to the grocery store and you left your list at home. I'm talking the kind of irritated that makes you yell and scream at those you love because you have zero patience. For my anger - you know how some people say they have a "short fuse" for a temper? For me, in a hypomanic state, that fuse isn't short. It's nonexistent. It means that when my daughter asks me a simple question, I will reply by yelling, using inappropriate language, and sometimes telling her to go away and leave me alone. I don't want to say more because I don't need social services coming to my home. Now for my aggression, fortunately, it hasn't escalated to physical violence yet, but I can feel it under the surface. Right now, all I've done is a door slam or throwing a small object across the room. If I ever get off the meds that control my mood....I can easily see myself getting thisclose to pulling a Teresa and flipping a table. Literally. Or worse.
I asked my doctor about support groups, which are out there, but they will usually address topics universally and, in the case of hypomania, it will be focused on the euphoria. So I'm pretty much SOL. In response to this, I told her that if anything came across her desk in the way of support groups for the rare ones like me, or if a doctor wanted to "study" me to get more information and learn more, I'm all for it. Not only do I want help for myself, but it's super important to me for there to be help for others. I know what it's like to not have it, and it sucks. Having the right kind of help can make the difference between life and death. Literally.
So, I mentioned to her that I picked up this book about bipolar 2 disorder so that I may continue to expand my knowledge and know how to manage my symptoms. What pissed me off, and I shared this with her, was that the hypomania addressed in the book was specific to that of elation and euphoria. Well, kids, I can tell you that is not the only kind of hypomania. I wish I was "blessed" in that way, but I'm not. Wanna know what happens to me? Do ya, do ya?
When I have a hypomanic episode, I become aggressive and irritated and angry. Not the kind of irritated you get when you're headed to the grocery store and you left your list at home. I'm talking the kind of irritated that makes you yell and scream at those you love because you have zero patience. For my anger - you know how some people say they have a "short fuse" for a temper? For me, in a hypomanic state, that fuse isn't short. It's nonexistent. It means that when my daughter asks me a simple question, I will reply by yelling, using inappropriate language, and sometimes telling her to go away and leave me alone. I don't want to say more because I don't need social services coming to my home. Now for my aggression, fortunately, it hasn't escalated to physical violence yet, but I can feel it under the surface. Right now, all I've done is a door slam or throwing a small object across the room. If I ever get off the meds that control my mood....I can easily see myself getting thisclose to pulling a Teresa and flipping a table. Literally. Or worse.
I asked my doctor about support groups, which are out there, but they will usually address topics universally and, in the case of hypomania, it will be focused on the euphoria. So I'm pretty much SOL. In response to this, I told her that if anything came across her desk in the way of support groups for the rare ones like me, or if a doctor wanted to "study" me to get more information and learn more, I'm all for it. Not only do I want help for myself, but it's super important to me for there to be help for others. I know what it's like to not have it, and it sucks. Having the right kind of help can make the difference between life and death. Literally.
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