I want to win the lottery, but that requires me to buy a ticket...

The few of you who read my blog are probably sick and tired of hearing me bitch about random shit in my life.  Well, for that I'm sorry, but it is my blog and I choose to discuss what I want.  School, for teachers, starts in one week and one day.  I want to vomit.  I am literally having panic attacks about it daily.  Granted they aren't the kind I had when I first found out I had issues with depression/anxiety, but I have this dreading feeling almost all day long.  I really really wish it would go away, but it hasn't.

I've been thinking more and more about my family and friends in NJ.  All of my real friends (save for an amount I can count on one hand) are back home.  My family is all back home.  Behavior and attitudes I consider normal are back home.  The only thing missing from the equation?  Me.  The Husband and I have chatted about moving there, but the reality is that move probably won't happen for at least another year.  Bottom line, because the market is shitty for sellers right now, we aren't about to put our house on the market and lose money.  What would be the point?  We're going to go about it in a smart way.  I'm really hoping the market begins to turn in the next year or two because the caged beast I have dwelling inside me stemming from my Italian/North Jersey roots is just waiting for an opportunity to rough a bitch up.  Now, case and point for a second....my people (aka northerners, specifically the greater tri-state area) would know that my previous statement would not mean that I would literally get into a street fight with someone, but rather I'd go crazy.  Those who are not my people would think I'd need to be physically restrained. 

As far as my weight loss....I haven't seen my trainer in a couple of weeks.  She and I are both teachers and she also coaches as well so our schedules haven't aligned in a while.  I need to get in touch with her and make a regular time to meet or else I will be totally derailed.  While I'm not pigging out on anything at the moment, I'm also not eating very healthy either.  I need to just buckle down and try better.  I need to keep my eyes on the prize.