Singleton, Weight Gain, and The Secret

Ok, so I have a much greater appreciation for the single mom.  Not that I didn't before, but since living the lifestyle for a few months since The Husband went to DC for his new job, all I can say is, it ain't no joke parenting on your own.  Granted, we do try and see each other, but it's not as frequently as either of us would like.  Eventually, we'll be reunited under one roof again and that's the thought I hold on to.

As for my weight...HA!  It's been fluctuating the same 5 lbs for a few weeks now.  I hopped on the scale this morning hoping to see that I had lost since we took the middle school to the land lab this week and the amount of calories burned is crazy.  What's always funny is the amount of food you eat because you're burning all those calories, especially on the last day when you have been busting your ass for a week outside and are tired and you have to pack up all the gear and leave.  I thought for sure the 3 consecutive creek walks I did on Friday would have counted for something, but sadly, no.  I didn't weigh in last weekend because we were traveling back from DC and I always weigh in the morning on Sundays.  I didn't want the weigh-in to be inaccurate.

Here's this week:

Weigh in: 184.5 lbs.

Loss/Gain: + 2 lbs.

Total loss since start: -6.3

I was watching this info-mercial about Zumba this morning while I was getting CSC's breakfast together.  I've tried Zumba before and liked it - in a masochistic sort of way.  All of my g/f who do it love it and are in great shape, so perhaps the torture exercise is beneficial.  I have to do something and soon before I find my self on the show My 600 lb Life.

In other news, I watched the documentary The Secret last night because I'd always been curious about the hype surrounding the book.  I heard it basically talked about the power of positive thinking, but it was so much more than that.  This concept deals with the law of attraction and how "like attracts like".  I'm simplifying it, but it was really cool to hear the connection to science and theology.  As a matter of fact, religion and science are more connected than one would think.  Rather than do The Secret injustice with an infantile explanation, I suggest you view the documentary and/or read the book.  You honestly have nothing to lose.  Except your negative attitude. ;)

Ahh, redemption

Back in the saddle the past week, determined to knock the shit out of the holiday weight residing on my midsection and ass.  I made sure I ate right and portion controlled my meals.  I did a little something active every day - even if it was just parking in a spot that was further away from my destination.  All in all, I felt good about this week.

And the proof is on the scale:

Weigh in: 181.7 lbs

Weight change: -6.4 lbs

Total loss: - 9.1 lbs

I had a lunch date with my daughter today, after our morning at the park, at Denny's and they have this fantastic new sandwhich: Chicken Avocado Sandwich - very yummy!  Even for Denny's. 

Time to face the music

 I knew it was coming.  It happens every year.  The dreaded holiday weight gain.  Each year, I lie to myself and say: "Surely this year will be different.  I will simply watch what I eat, avoid alcohol, and not gorge myself with desserts.  I'll even go to the gym with my mom, or walk around the block."  You can feel free to start laughing now.  I didn't even pack sneakers for this trip. Who was I fooling.

At one point, while at my parents', I stepped on my mom's scale, and it said I'd gained 4 lbs.  Ha!  There must be something wrong with this scale.  Or maybe it's true what "they" say about scales and how they are all different and if you don't weigh in on the same scale, your weight won't be accurate. Or maybe I'm just a fat ass who started eating the minute the plane touched down in NJ, and didn't stop.  Yup...that's it.

So I convinced myself of the "different scales make you weigh differently" lie, and figured I'd "watch what I ate" and weigh myself on the Wii at home. Several hundred cookies and glasses of wine later - sometimes consumed simultaneously...don't judge! - it's time for me to fly back to NC.  I think, "I have some time before I have to hop on that scale, so I'll be careful not to eat too much and hopefully I won't have gained that much."  You can feel free to start laughing now...that is if you haven't stopped yet from my previous idiotic statements.

New Years Eve comes up and me and the BFF decide to make it a girls-only celebration.  I have the supplies to make carmel apple martinis, and I got some munchies from the grocery store, so we were all set.  Let's just say we had an awesome time...at least that's my assumption after reading my tweets I sent last night.  Needless to say, there's no more sour apple pucker left, hardly any butterscotch schnapps, and the vodka is almost gone as well.  My liver was like WTF.

Today is the day. It's the start of 2012. Time for new beginnings and opportunities.  Oh, and time for my fat ass to finally get on the scale and face the truth.

The moment comes:

Weigh in: 188.1 lbs.

Change since last weigh in: + 8.9 lbs.

Total loss since start: -2.7 lbs.

FUCK MY LIFE

In a matter of 2 weeks, I managed to destroy pretty much all the progress I made.  Now, like the new year, I have to start over.  Again.  Rather than kill myself over it, I'm going to remember my "resolution" to be active in some way every day.  Today, it will be doing some crunches to work on getting my ab muscles back where they should be so my back hurts less.  I started back to logging what I eat on WW again.  I pay for it, I should probably actually use it.

What's that cliche about getting back on when you fall off the horse?  That's what I'm going to do.  I can be the weight that makes me happy and healthy.  I can be in control of my eating rather than have it be in control of me.  I can become the MILF I know is screaming to be let out of this chunky mom body I'm currently sporting. Besides, I really want my wardrobe to consist of all the cute outfits I've pinned on my Pintrest.