Put the damn fork down!

Wow!  Has it really been since January that I've posted a blog?!?  What can I say, I'm busy... With teaching and taking care of CSC and having a long-distance marriage and trying to sell a house and trying to find a job and everything else in between, the last thing I had time for was to update my blog.  Quite frankly, there wasn't anything to update.  In my head, I had only slacked off minimally with my paleo lifestyle, but the truth was beginning to stare me in the face as I was trying to button pants that were loose not too long ago.  Not to mention that my face has puffed up again, and those lovely back fat rolls have popped back up....gotta love those.  What the hell!  How did this happen? AGAIN!

Let's review:

I started doing paleo with Dr. Schafer and it worked really well.  It was tough at first, but after a while it became easier to do.  I was losing weight, but even better, I FELT better and looked better.  I honestly don't care what the scale says since I base everything off of how my clothes fit and how I look in the mirror.  Well, all it took was for my visits to run out and Christmas to come and off the wagon I fell again. (Why do I bother trying to get on a wagon when I keep falling off?)

I should have known something was up when people stopped complementing me on how great I looked, how much weight I'd lost, etc.  I also could have put the friggin' donut down, but there's no sense in dwelling in the past.  Oh wait, the past is hanging out in the form of FAT ON MY ASS!

It's funny because you always think that your good friends will tell you to put the damn fork down, right, but here's the deal.  They love you too much to hurt your feelings.  I thought about it by putting myself in my friends' shoes: I figured that they already assumed that I saw for myself what was happening and didn't need someone else reminding me by shoving it in my face.  I know that there's not a person on the planet who I'd say, "Hey there, think maybe you should put that fork down since your ass barely fits on the chair?" or perhaps "Do you honestly think you need that donut/piece of cake/extra slice of pizza/3rd trip to the buffet?" Granted, not many are as blunt as I am, but I'm sure you can think of a variation that is kinder, but still gets the meaning across.

So when did reality hit you, Aimee?

It happened over Easter weekend, actually.  I was at my parents' Delaware Mansion when I decided to step on my mom's scale.  I don't have one in my house and the Wii is in DC with The Husband, so there went any source of weight gain knowledge I had.  Imagine my reaction when I stepped on the scale and saw I was almost the weight I was 2 WEEKS AFTER BIRTHING MY DAUGHTER!  What.The.Fuck.  I was expecting a gain, but not this.  I went to the living room and just sat on the couch staring into space in utter depression.  Of course, my mom came over and asked what was wrong, and the tears start rolling.  I didn't want to waste my youth being "the fat mom who let herself go".  What kind of a role model is that for my daughter?  My well-meaning mom said all the right/wrong things that kept me crying because I already knew them.  "You need to buckle down." "You have to really want it and commit to losing weight." "You've done it before, you can do it again."  It's not that I DON'T want to lose weight, or that I DON'T want to put forth any effort.  It's so damn frustrating when it seems like it takes not time at all to put on the weight and it takes FOREVER to take it off.  It's not very motivating when my effort yields little results.  This is the reason why I occasionally turn to the "lose weight quick" diets to jump start me.  When I see that I drop weight pretty well, it keeps me going to want to maintain it.

Since I'm a Pinterest addict (who isn't really), I try to look for all sorts of pins for my "Thinspiration" board, and I stumbled across one that gave me some great resources for starting over.  I know the paleo thing works, but I have to be honest, it'll work better when TH and I are back under one roof doing it together.  When I have to try to cook something for just me and CSC, it usually boils down to me just feeding her something super simple, but I'm honestly not hungry enough to cook myself dinner.  I'll just have a bowl of cereal or something.  I decided to start using the FREE app "Lose it"

"Lose It" app

to start counting my calories.  It worked for the chick in the blog, and she lost the same amount I'm hoping to lose. (Right now I'm her "before" pic) I've been using it since the day before Easter, and I've lost 5 lbs. so far! I fully accept that it could very much be water weight, but I don't care. The bottom line is it's weight that isn't on my body anymore and there's more to come off. What I like about it is that you can scan the bar code of whatever food you are eating - whether or not it's name brand or store brand - and it'll tell you how many calories it is for the serving since.  Don't get me wrong, I still like WW tracking app, but unless it's a name brand, the scanner doesn't recognize the food.  I keep my WW subscription because they do have great resources, especially for recipes.

That's my update for now.  My next step is to start making exercise a routine, but first I need to make sure this new food tracking stays a routine.  I think it's 21 days before something becomes habit?  I may start adding exercise before then, but it's easy for me to say that considering I'm on my spring break this week.  Stay tuned!

T.G.I.F.

Ok, so you're probably thinking to yourself, "Aimee, what is up with the title of this post?  Is the blonde dye for your highlights going to your brain; it's not Friday, it's Sunday."  I'm fully aware of the date, and that is exactly why I'm posting what I am with the title that I did.  To most, "T.G.I.F." stands for "Thank God it's Friday".  For me, it stands for Thank God it's Fall.  Whenever anyone asks me what my favorite season is, I always have to think long and hard.  I automatically write off Summer as a no because I can't stand the heat that comes with that time of year.  If it wasn't for the time off of school, I could do without Summer.  Yes, I like going to the beach and the pool when they are available, but if Summer was gone forever, I wouldn't cry.  I adore Winter, but when the weather gets to the point where everything is frozen and it takes 30 minutes to defrost your car, I'm over it.  But ask any teacher and he/she will tell you that with Winter comes the opportunity for snow days, and NO ONE looks forward to snow days more than teachers.  Sorry, kiddos, but it's a fact!

So, that brings us to Spring and Fall - both of which I really enjoy.  That first change in the weather from what you've been used to.  Those first few days when wearing jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt is the perfect outfit.  How you can have the windows down in your car, and it's not too hot or too cold.  After thinking about it, I remembered how every Spring, my allergies come back with a vengeance and that sucks - ask anyone who would cut a bitch for a Claritin.  And that leaves me with Fall.  I LOVE Fall.  I love how the air becomes more crisp.  I love the smell in the air that comes from people lighting fires at night.  I love all that comes with it, and I thought I'd break it down.  In no particular order:

1) Football Season!
Now there might be some fellow wives/moms who are thinking I'm a traitor to our group, but hear me out.  For those of you who have never sat down and truly watched a game of football, learned the rules, understood how the game works, you are missing out!  There was a time when I could not have cared less about football.  There was a time, before the Pro Bowl came before the Superbowl, when my Superbowl Sunday would occasionally fall on my birthday and I was completely forgotten about.  And if you know me and how much of a Diva I am, that attitude did NOT fly.  I would go to Superbowl parties in college and decide which team I was going to cheer for based on their mascot, or what color their uniforms were, or where they were from.  It was never a choice based on loyalty.  After college, I would watch games from time to time and go with whatever team the guy I was dating supported.  Now, my dad is a die hard Chicago Bears fan.  That team was always on my radar, but since I wasn't into football yet, I didn't give it much thought until about 6 or so years ago.  The Bears were getting ready to play the Colts in the Superbowl and my attention was grabbed.  I pulled out my Urlacher jersey from the closet and went with The Husband to the local Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the game.  From that point, I was hooked.  I actually spent the time to watch the game and learn aspects about it I didn't realize.  Now, I look forward to Sunday afternoons and am teaching CSC the importance of loving the Chicago Bears and the game of football from an early age.

2) Fall festivals and activities
There is nothing like a good Fall festival.  Games, food, good times with great people.  When I was growing up, we had the annual Harvest Festival.  It was awesome!  There were tons of rides and games, great food, and something everyone looked forward to every year.  And let's not forget the super fun activities reserved only for the Fall season: pumpkin picking, Oktoberfest, trick-or-treating, Halloween costumes, drinking hot apple cider, hayrides, chilling around a fire pit with great friends and family, sleeping with the windows open and needing that one extra blanket. - Think the opening of Sex and the City - "I heart NY" episode

3) Sweaters, jeans, and Uggs
I used to HATE Uggs because I thought they were ugly.  But then I drank the Kool-aid and fell in love.  I love when I can check the weather and see it's going to be a little chilly that day.  Not cold enough to bust out the winter coat, but just enough to dress in layers and know that slipping into those comfortable Uggs will be nice and cozy and perfect.

4) New episodes of my favorite TV shows

Not that I have a ton of time to watch TV.  I usually just let my DVR record the episodes and when CSC goes to bed on a Friday or Saturday night, I'll catch up on what I missed.  My heart is broken that there will be no House this season, but I'm psyched about Parenthood and the new NBC and Fox shows that are coming.  

5) That Fall smell in the air

I don't know what it is, but there is a distinct, familiar, crisp smell that comes into the air as soon as the calendar indicates Summer has turned into Fall.  It's the smell of bonfires at night, cooler temperatures, falling leaves.  That smell can bring a smile to my face every time.

6) Pumpkin Picking
It's the best when you find that perfect pumpkin sitting in the patch.  The perfect size for carving or decorating.  It's also interesting to see what other people consider to be the perfect pumpkin.  Thanks to Pinterest, this year I'm hoping to have a super cute pumpkin display for my porch.

7) Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

'Nuff said.

On a weight loss/heath note...I'm still doing Paleo and feeling better overall.  I'm down a pants size and a half, and I notice that, even without any sort of regular exercise, I'm trimming down in areas I didn't think possible without major exercise.  It also feels good knowing that I'm eating more natural foods, staying away from sugars (which new research is showing a link to many preventable diseases, not just diabetes), and not eating as much chemically processed food.

I promise, I'm still here!

It's that magical time of year again.  The time of year when you see those special ads and deals, and stores prepare for the onslaught of customers looking for that "just right" item.  Happy shoppers pushing their full carts thought parking lots to load up their cars with bags upon bags of purchases.  No, I'm not talking about Christmas....it's back to school time!  That wonderful time when school supplies are discounted and the "great" state of NC brings the oh-so-wonderful "Tax Free Weekend" for clothes and office supplies.  It's that time when parents are jumping for joy looking at teachers with that "Tag, you're it!" look on their faces.  Some parents even realize, after having their blessed children for the summer, that hey, teachers aren't paid enough.  But I digress....

For me, it's that time of year when my life becomes uber - chaotic and I feel as though I have no time.  And I don't just mean time for myself, I literally mean no time.  It's like the 24 hours of the day are on fast forward and the day is over almost as soon as it begins, and I'm left feeling like I didn't do anything I needed to do that day.  Not to mention that it feels like I drop off the face of the planet since I don't have time to Facebook, tweet, or blog as often as I'd like or can.  It's also harder being a "single mom" with The Husband in DC and me and CSC here.  Granted, it will be nice to have us all under one roof again, but it will be very sad for me to leave what is definitely the best job I've ever had. I just have to trust that while this is good, there is something even better waiting for me.  Damn, that is hard to do....

As for my Paleo lifestyle, I have been doing fairly well adjusting my eating choices, and my nutritionist was right - it gets easier the longer you eat this way.  I don't crave carbs and sweets like I used to, and when I do eat them, I enjoy them but I don't feel the need to overindulge.  It helps knowing how the body processes the food you eat.  I have another official weigh-in before my pre-paid visits come to an end, but as of the last visit, I have lost a total of 10.5 lbs., about 10% body fat, and a few points off my BMI.  I feel great, and I'm finding more and more resources online about easy ways to incorporate Paleo into your life.  My next step is to bring TH and CSC along for the healthy ride.  We'll see how successful I become.

Since it is the start of the 2012 - 2013 school year, I will be ridiculously busy and the time between blogs will be lengthy.  But I am still here and will do the best I can to write about the crazy antics my life brings.

I'm still here...I promise!

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted a blog!  Man, I'm behind!  The last weight loss blog I posted was when I was going to try Body by Vi.  I tried it, and I'm apparently the ONLY person who does not achieve desired results.  Figures....  I ended up gaining weight instead of losing.  WRONG DIRECTION! As much as I loved making the different shakes (which were very tasty BTW) and the convenience of them, I did not, however, enjoy the extra 5 lbs. it added to my ass.  So I decided my body and metabolism needed a good jump start.

After much thought, I realized that even if the shakes had worked, I did not want to spend the rest of my life relying on protein shakes for fear that stopping them would result in gaining all my weight back.  I know I have mentioned several friends who have gone to weight loss clinics and had great results, so I decided to look into one.  I found MD Wellness & Weight Management.  After talking for a long while with the front desk nurse, and talking to my mom about wanting something different that would "shock" my body out of its routine, I decided to make an appointment to see the doctor.  I wasn't sure what to expect as far as what he'd say I could and couldn't eat, but I knew that I was glad to be able to see a licensed physician who specialized in nutrition and weight loss.

After meeting Dr. Schaffer for the first consultation, I really felt that he would do as he said and treat me holistically - not just focus on what I was eating or how I was exercising, but also take into consideration my lifestyle as a teacher and temporary single mom with a long-distance husband.  He introduced me to the Paleo Diet, although he did not label it that.  I was taught that the body processes sugars and carbs the same way and when overloaded with sugar, the body's attempt at thwarting diabetes is to do something, anything, with the extra sugar.  That anything is storing it as fat when all other options have been exhausted.  If the body isn't using the sugar for energy, it needs to go somewhere, so into the fat cells it goes.  After hearing the list of what I could eat (all the fruits, veggies, and leafy greens I wanted) and what I couldn't (bread, pasta, soda, anything artificial) I felt overwhelmed, but excited.  Hey, I got to shop at Whole Foods where all the healthy people go!

My first trip to Whole Foods was an experience.  I felt so out of my element!  Everything was organic - something I poo-pooed previously, but now had to gravitate towards per Dr. Schaffer's orders - and there were foods I'd never even seen before!  Despite feeling the intimidation from the clog wearing, vegetarian, Rusted Root listening, yoga attendees who came shopping complete with their reusable, Earth-friendly shopping bags, I managed to get a stockpile of approved foods to start my diet.

I was excited to go back 2 weeks later for my weigh in to see how dramatically my body was changing.  Imagine my surprise when I only lost a fraction of a pound!  WTF!  I thought it was supposed to melt away!  Not that Dr. Schaffer gave me any impression that would happen, but I was looking to shock my body, and instead my body was lightly shaken.  Since The Husband and I would be going on a cruise (aka "floating all you can eat buffet") for our anniversary this year, you can imagine how freaked out I was.  I had no clue how I was going to follow the paleo diet while on a cruise.  I wanted to enjoy myself, not freak out about what I could and couldn't eat.  Dr. Schaffer gave me some tips and reminded me that this diet was really a lifestyle change that isn't easy at first.  He reminded me what to avoid, but said I could treat myself modestly when it came to the "do not eat" foods.

Well, we went on the cruise, and I did my fair share of drinking the daily cocktails offered and taking advantage of the great food on the boat.  I ate more than what I probably should have of the "taboo" foods, but TH and I went to the gym the first morning, snorkeled while at Bermuda, did a great deal of walking since the ship was HUGEMONGUS!, took the stairs when we only had a few flights to go, and danced our asses off every night at da club.  I thought for sure I'd come back at least 5 lbs. heavier than before I went, so you can bet I just about passed out when I weighed in and found out I HAD LOST 4 WHOLE POUNDS!!  Even though I had great results, I was expecting Dr. Schaffer to admonish me for not sticking strictly to my paleo diet, but instead he said my actions were fine.  He reiterated that this lifestyle change should not create headaches and not be fun, but rather be more of a challenge to eat healthy foods.  He said the most important idea I was learning was remembering and acknowledging how my body processed foods I eat.  Imagining I'm eating a bowl of sugar when eating a roll definitely helps to avoid it.

Well, I'm back from the annual Delaware 4th of July Bruhaha, and I did not have to wear a muu muu on the beach.  I wasn't rocking the bikini, but good things come to those who work their asses off, and I fully intend to do just that with this lifestyle change.

Desperate times call for desperate measures....sort of

Spring is in the air.  Birds are chirping.  Flowers are blooming.  My car is coated in a yellowish-green film every morning.  The days are longer.  The school year is almost over, and you know what that means...Summer 2012 is on the horizon and with it the dreaded bathing suit season. (insert horror movie music here) I've been attempting WW since last summer.  Some weeks I'm really good and log my points and watch what I eat, blah blah blah.  And then there are others where the ice cream finds it way back into my freezer and ordering pizza or stopping by Chick-fil-A is just so much easier than cooking dinner for CSC and myself.  But the repercussion is no steady weight loss for a while, and the summer is approaching fast.  I'm tired of looking at photos from the summer months and thinking "Holy shit!  Put the damn fork down you hippo bitch!"

I've been thinking for a while that all I really want/need is a good kick start so that I can see and feel some results and be motivated rather than feel defeated.  Not that I don't like WW; on the contrary, I love it and think it's an amazing program, but let's be honest here, I'm not following it at all.  A friend of mine recommended a weight loss clinic place that gives you a shot (ouch) and some appetite suppressant pills (hello anorexia) and you lose a shit ton of weight in like no time.  I thought about it, especially since she's had really good results, but it's not in a convenient location, and I'm not too thrilled about the idea of getting a shot on a regular basis.

Just when I was starting to do my annual count down to Delaware Mansion Fourth of July Extravaganza and attempt to convince myself there was plenty of time to lose the weight and fit into size 6-8 clothes by then, I spoke to a friend a few weeks ago about her weight loss I kept seeing her post about on Facebook.  She told me she stared this program, Body by Vi, that used meal replacement shakes.  She gave me the website and I checked it out.  One of the things that she mentioned that kept me listening was the fact that she saved money on groceries since she was buying less food.  Her husband is often away in the evenings, so she finds herself in the same position I do - it's dinner time and you are cooking for yourself and a finicky toddler and cooking a meal is a butt pain.  

I was still feeling a little skeptical until she showed me her before and after pics after only a month using the shakes.  Holy difference, Batman!  It was insane!  That night I went online and ordered the Shape Kit.  It's the 90 Day Challenge and that's perfect timing for the summer.  I figure, even if I only go down 1 size, it'll still be worth it because seeing the results will be motivating.  The shakes and information came today, and I can't wait to go through them.  I know I need to do a before pic and take some measurements and whatnot, so I'll do that in the next day or so and get that tracking started.  Wish me luck!

So, it's true what "they" say. Kind of...

I'd heard this little tidbit of info years ago about the proper ways to weigh yourself.  You should weigh yourself at the same time of day, on the same scale, wearing the same clothes, on the same day of the week.  I guess all of these factor into accurate weight measuring.  Makes sense - you want to have the most consistent results as possible.

We were able to visit my parents' house in Delaware this weekend when CSC and I went up to visit The Husband.  It's always nice to get to see my parents, and I am really looking forward to the time when we live much closer to them and can see them more often when we do - especially when it's near tax free shopping!  We went out to brunch Sunday morning and I forgot to weigh myself before we left.  I like to weigh myself before I've eaten anything - it's how I have always done it.  It think it's a superstition at this point.  Anyways, I ended up getting on the scale later that afternoon and was very upset to see the number on the scale read what it did.  It said I'd not only gained, but was very close to my starting weight.  WTF!  I got upset, and was getting discouraged.  Being in the house that we go to every year for July 4th and thinking of wearing bathing suits and skimpier clothing than sweaters and Uggs made me think back to the blog entry last summer after that annual trip to Delaware.  In that entry I reflect on my desire to lose all this weight that makes me unhappy and I even take a picture to visually document my starting point. Since then, it's been a struggle, for which I have no one to blame but myself.  I haven't lost the amount of weight I'd have liked, but I've still lost. And there's still time to lose a considerable amount by summer.

Be all that as it may, I decided to hop on the good ole Wii tonight after CSC went to bed to see if the number was still the same.  Totally expecting my weight to have gone up, imagine my surprise when not only had it NOT gone up, but I'd lost some weight since the last weigh in last Sunday!  Whoo hoo!

Current Stats:

Current weight: 181.4 lbs.

Loss/Gain: - 3.1 lbs.

Total loss to date: 9.4 lbs.

I don't feel as discouraged, and I plan on keeping it up.  I do NOT want to wear a mu mu this Summer!

Ahh, redemption

Back in the saddle the past week, determined to knock the shit out of the holiday weight residing on my midsection and ass.  I made sure I ate right and portion controlled my meals.  I did a little something active every day - even if it was just parking in a spot that was further away from my destination.  All in all, I felt good about this week.

And the proof is on the scale:

Weigh in: 181.7 lbs

Weight change: -6.4 lbs

Total loss: - 9.1 lbs

I had a lunch date with my daughter today, after our morning at the park, at Denny's and they have this fantastic new sandwhich: Chicken Avocado Sandwich - very yummy!  Even for Denny's. 

I'm not the friggin' Buddah

So apparently I'm in "vacation mode" or I have a tape worm.  Either way, I cannot stop eating.  It's pretty bad.  Last night we had hot dogs and hamburgers for dinner.  An hour and a half after dinner was done, I felt the need to eat a couple cookies, another cheese burger, AND some cashews.  And I was STILL hungry!  WTF!  Am I the very hungry caterpillar or something???

At any rate, what was really disturbing was last night, I was blowing my nose because I have been "fighting" a cold for what feels like forever, and the cold has apparently won since I can't go very far without needing to either hack up a lung or blow half my brains out into a tissue.  At any rate, I feel like shit; not even NyQuil has helped.  Be that as it may, I'm there trying to blow my nose - did I mention my back has been hurting, on top of everything else, because the mattress that I have been sleeping on at my parents' is akin to sleeping on concrete - standing in such a way as to alleviate my back pain and my mother starts rubbing my belly.  Like what you do when you are trying to piss off a pregnant woman or when you see the Buddah.

Me: What the hell are you doing?!

Mom: Rubbing your belly.

Me: Uh, why?

Mom: I'm your mother; I'm allowed.
(I didn't get the memo on that one)

Me: I'm not the friggin' Buddah, Mom.  Stop doing that.

Mom: Why?

Me: Seriously?! I'm already self-conscious about my body, you rubbing my belly isn't helping.

Mom: Oh.

Really?!!!  I have to spell that out?! I didn't like having my belly rubbed when I was pregnant, what makes her think I wanted it rubbed now, especially when I'm definitely NOT pregnant!  So I've decided this is getting ridiculous.  I have to start exercising again, but I'm going to need to do it myself so I can do it on my schedule, rather than getting a trainer again and having to schedule times to work out.  I have a Wii at home.  I have a neighborhood I can walk.  There's no excuse for me not to do something.  Plus, since my stomach muscles are shot to shit, I'm thinking that if I build those up, my back won't hurt as much.

So, I've decided for my New Year's Resolution, I will do something active every day.  I'm purposely not saying "exercise" because, to me, that implies doing something specific.  I want to start small, with a little more freedom, in order to gradually get myself back into a rhythm of exercise.  This way, if I walk the block one day, but do yoga the next, I won't feel like I'm slacking because one's "harder" than the other.  I won't feel discouraged and want to give up because I'm not doing anything.  Plus, WW has revamped their program online again, and there's a way to tailor your exercise just for you.  I'm looking forward to seeing what that has to say.

So while, in my mind, I feel like my "mom body" looks more like this:




And less like this:

There is no reason why anyone should feel like it's a good idea to rub my belly.

Feast of the Seven Pounds

So, here I am at my parents' house for the holidays in great anticipation of the infamous Italian cuisine that  is the much loved tradition in my family.  What's even better is the fact that my entire family (save 3 people) will be here!  I said in my last blog, I hope to at least maintain, but I'm just hoping not to gain a whole pant size.  There is SO much ridiculously good food when it comes to an Italian Christmas, starting with the snacking that begins a few days before Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Eve, the traditional Feast of the Seven Fishes happens.  Now, while I don't eat fish - don't like the texture - I look forward to this element of Christmas.  I love watching my mom and Nana prepare all of the dishes that I remember from my childhood.

On Christmas Day, the eating begins at breakfast and doesn't stop until you go to bed. In addition to the usual Christmas fare, there are the Italian counterparts - pasta, lasagna, stuffed peppers, sausage, meatballs, antipasta.  God, I LOVE this holiday!

And the cookies!  Oh the cookies!  There are so many cookies!  My aunt makes these cookies that are dipped in chocolate on the ends and coated in sprinkles.  I eat my weight in those every time I'm with my family for Christmas.

Again, I'm hoping to maintain my weight, but if I do gain, I just hope it's minimal.  I'd hate to have to use any of gift cards Santa will hopefully bring me for new clothes for muu muus rather than any of the cute clothes in my dream wardrobe I've pinned on my Pintrest.

I hit 10lbs bitches!

I guess the title of this post says it all: after what feels like FOREVER, I finally hit that beautiful 10lbs loss mark.  My weight yo-yo'ed for a bit, and quite frankly, I was afraid I wasn't going to lose this week since after Monday I had stopped journaling my food.  Not to mention that surprise trip to the Melting Pot Tuesday. At any rate, I will be back to journaling so I keep up the progress.  After you hit your initial 5% loss, WW makes you set another goal to reach.  This goal can either be the weight you hope to finally be, or another smaller goal, such as another 5%.  I chose to go with 10% because my actual goal weight is so far off, I didn't want to be discouraged.

Here's my current stats:

Weigh in: 180.6 lbs

Loss: - 1.1 lbs

Total loss: - 10.2 lbs

I should try and post an updated pic....kinda like I said I was going to do in my first post.  Overall, I am pretty satisfied with my progress so far.  I would like for it to be more consistent, and a little more each week, but I'm grateful it's a loss rather than a gain. 

Week 4 - Steady as we go

So I've been following WW for 4 weeks now and I am LOVING the new points system!  It is WAY easier to eat what you want and not feel deprived.  So far I have consistently been losing weight and that's all I could ask for at this point.  I still need to get on the exercise bandwagon, but that will come - I'm pretty confident.

Ok, here's my stats for week 4:

Weigh in: 182.3lbs

Loss: -2.7lbs

Total since start: -8.5lbs

Less than 2 lbs before I hit a 10lb loss!  I'll be super excited when my Wii quits telling me I'm obese!  I'd hate to see what it would say if someone really obese stepped on there!  "OMG!  Get the eff off me fatass!"

Week 3

Better late than never right?  I have been busy - hence the weekly weight update happening on Thursday rather than Sunday or Monday.

Weigh in: 185lbs

Loss: -.06

Total: -5.8

I didn't have as big of a loss as last week probably because on Saturday night (night before I weigh myself) I broke the cardinal rule of WW - do NOT pig out, even if you have the extra points to do so, the day before a weigh in.  I hadn't eaten much during the day, so when we had some friends over for an impromtu cook-out, I ate 2 hot dogs, a cheese burger, and some chips.  I know I should have just done one or the other, and certainly not two of anything, but sue me, they were tasty. :)  At any rate, I have made a conscious effort to eat more fruit and veggies this week, so I'm hoping that there will be another decent loss.

WW Week 2 - First 5

Boo Ya Bitches!  First 5 lbs down reached!  Clearly had a much better week than last week.  Not that last week was bad, but it's nice to see a large amount gone.  Now, by no means am I a WW spokesperson, but the new points system is so much easier to follow.  By that I mean, I really don't feel deprived or hungry.  There are so many points you can spread over the week, that it's impossible to overeat....well, maybe not impossible, but still.

Weigh in: 185.6lbs

Loss: -3.5lbs

Total since start: -5.2lbs

Again, I'm pretty pleased so far.  The one thing I need to start to incorporate is exercise.  I may wait another week since "they" say it takes 3 weeks (or something like that) to form a habit, so I'll get my eating into a habit and then I'll figure out how to incorporate exercise.  I really want to do the classes at the local gym since they have ass-kicking Zumba!

First week back

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions and such is my life.  I intend to do things, but something trivial always manages to come and screw with my intentions.  When I decided to blog daily about my weight loss, I meant it.  I wanted to post every day as a way of being accountable for my actions.  In reality, if I were to actually blog every day, I think I'd gouge my eyes out with CSC's toddler spoon, so I can only imagine what those of you who read this would do.  So really, I'm saving lives here.

At any rate, after reconsidering what's worth blogging I have decided that should something noteworthy occur, I shall blog.  If it doesn't, then I'll write once a week with an update on my weight loss.  Knowing that some people are reading this to see if I'm really keeping up with the plan will hopefully continue to keep me motivated to continue.

Following the new WW points plan isn't as hard as I thought it would be AND I can eat almost all the fruit I want - zero points now bitches!!!  I have actually found myself at the end of the day needing to eat because I didn't eat all my points.  Oh darn....I need to eat more.  Shucks.......

Here are the results of week 1:

Weigh in: 189.2

Change: - 1.6lbs

Not bad for the first week.  I have to be honest, I was kind of hoping for something a bit more dramatic since the other times I've done WW, the first week is always awesome because your body is shocked.  But I'm choosing to look on the bright side - at least I didn't gain.

The first day is always the easiest

So today is technically day 2 of being back on the wagon with my weight loss.  I have diligently restarted from scratch my WW stats and have been "journaling" everything that I eat. What I notice about following WW is that I'm always pretty gung-ho for the first couple of weeks and then someone presents to me cake and it's down hill from there.  I swear, WW is like AA for fat people:

"Hi.  My name is Aimee, and I love to overeat."

"Hi Aimee"

"I have not touched a piece of cake in three days."

*Insert obligatory, congratulatory golf clap here*

A few things I have noticed about my eating habits now that they are back under the microscope:

1) I graze.  I pick. I nibble.  I do anything but make myself a healthy meal to eat.  As a matter of fact, in the time it takes for me to shove whatever in my face, I could have made something a lot healthier.

2) Nighttime is the most difficult time to not do said grazing of food.  I'm not sure what it is about nighttime that makes me want to just raid the cabinets, but that is my weakest time of day.

So apparently, tomorrow is supposed to be Africa hot outside, so there goes my desire to walk the neighborhood.  Good news is I have Wii Fit and will be setting a goal of doing that for 20 minutes tomorrow. As for my foray into Zumba, I plan to find a class around here and a sucker good friend who will go with me.

Here I go again

So it's time to face facts: I am overweight.  By a lot.  I'm not going to call myself the "f word" and say I'm fat, because I'm not what I would considered fat, or obese for that matter.  I am, however, very overweight.  My clothes have been fitting tighter than I would prefer and so it's time that I actually do something about it rather than simply bitch and wish there was a miracle cure such as a pill or a winning lottery ticket so I could afford the necessary plastic surgery.  Unfortunately, neither is available at this time.

I have decided that the only way I will actually stick to following my WW diet and actually exercising rather than talking about it is by blogging and posting - making it public so that I don't humiliate myself with exclamations of "I'm going to get skinny!" and in reality sitting on the couch with ice cream to watch marathon amounts of TV.  I named this blog "Confessions of a Wannabe MILF"* because I was hoping to track my progress to MILF-hood, publish it and become wealthy...or at least make some decent cash.  We shall see.....

So here are my stats:

Starting weight - 190.8 (YIKES!  How the hell did I let this happen???  Oh wait, it's my lack of restraint with food)
Current size - 14 or Large/XL
Hips - 47in
Waist - 35.5in

Current goal according to WW: 181lbs
Ultimate goal: 125 lbs/size 6

And let's not forget the visual evidence:

All of this revealing is very embarrassing, and I can't believe I let this happen, but I need to fix it.  I know I can because I have seen evidence of others who are very overweight (Biggest Loser anyone?) and have lost the equivalent of people in pounds.  Now, I'm not looking to do that....maybe the size of small child though.  My plan is to blog daily about what I have done/eaten during the day, track  my weight and measurements weekly, and post a photo monthly.  Let's see how I do....

*As you can see the original name of this blog has changed.*

Ah...bathing suit season approaches

Oooh goodie goodie! Bathing suit shopping soon will be here. Let me pull out a gun and shoot myself. Even at my thinnest (125lbs size 6) I dreaded shopping for bathing suits. It never fails that no matter how cute the suit, or how flattering it's supposed to be for your body shape, you look terrible in the fitting room.

Last year I rocked the one piece since I'd had my daughter a few months ago and had no business being in anything less than a mu-mu. This year, I'd like to get a tankini, but the trick is finding the right one and being willing to pay for it. You ever notice how either the suit is awesome, but costs the same as a small beach house, or looks terrible, but won't break the bank? Should I go out and splurge this year knowing that next year I'll have to get another suit anyways because this year's will be too big (as my weight loss continues....) or should I be practical?

On the diet front, I have no idea why I'm finding it so hard to "bite and write" in my WW journal. Another bad habit I've gotten into is having coffee for breakfast, skipping lunch, and eating whatever at dinner. This is not my new "anorexia diet" by any means, it's just been happening. To be honest, I have been avoiding getting on the scale as well. I need to just start facing facts and planning out my meals and exercise (outside of training with Tara) better. I really am tired of having my body be less than what I know it can be.

So....my ass doesn't jiggle anymore

Not much going on with me. On a positive note, I had to get something out of the living room this morning in the middle of getting dressed and I noticed that my ass no longer jiggles when I walk. I have my trainer to thank for that. :)

Yeah, so....

So I've been MIA from ths blog because of National Boards and then I was just flat out lazy for a couple weeks. Now I'm back...break out the bubbly. :)

First and foremost, I put on a pair of walking shorts (I don't ever wear shorts shorter than knee length because they always ride up and it looks like my crotch is eating the fabric) that I hadn't worn since the summer I got pregnant. Needless to say I was THRILLED they fit. And I'm not talking they buttoned but I rocked muffin top, they legit fit. Hooray!

I have "fallen off the wagon" so to speak with tracking my food and completely watching what I eat. I'm friggin' lazy, that's all there is to it. If I actually stuck to WW points and did what I was supposed to, I'd have totally lost more than the 20lbs I have so far. I don't know what it is because by the time I've snacked on whatever because I'm hungry but don't feel like making a meal, I could have made something much healthier. The good news is I still faithfully go to my trainer once a week for my ritualistic ass-kicking.

I can't help but be frustrated about how shot to shit my body is even a year after having my daughter - yes, I said a year....I can NOT believe it's already been a year....well, actually a year on the 24th. I keep wanting to blame the c-section. But then I see skinny bitches like Kelly Ripa aka Miss I had a c-section with all 3 of my kids. Yeah yeah yeah, she has a trainer for more than just one hour a week and she had a nutritionist and a personal chef and makes a living looking good, but it still pisses me off.

Let's talk real life. The neighbor who watches my daughter a couple hours a day between the time I leave for work and my husband gets home has an AMAZING body and her son will be 2 in June. Now her body was amazing at his 1st birthday last year! She didn't have a c-section. Granted, I didn't really know her prior to her getting pregnant and having a baby, so I can assume she was probably thin to begin with - which always helps.

Bottom line, I HATE how my body looks after having a baby. I know it's going to take some time to get it to something I'm semi-happy with, but looking in the mirror depresses me and my husband telling me I look sexy makes me vomit. And people are already asking me when I'm having a 2nd....HA Try NEVER!

C-sections suck ass

I'm really frustrated about how my belly has become so flabby. I also get frustrated when Tara, my trainer, has me do ab work that I "should really feel a burn" and I get nothing. I blame my c-section. I was basically gutted like a fish and in the process, had all my stomach muscles and nerves cut. (It still freaks me out that I have little to no feeling in some area of my lower abdomen)

Now I'm not saying I want to pose for Playboy or anything, but I also don't feel like my body should be shot to shit at such a young age either. I'm only 32 for pete's sake!

At this point, other than being a slave for 3 more weeks to National Boards, my schedule is pretty free. Tara gave me passes to use for free at the gym for classes, so I really need to start with adding one class a week to my life. There are some really fun ones - Zumba, Hip Hop, etc. - that look like they'd be awesome cardio without feeling like cardio. I know all I need to do is make it a habit....it's getting to that point that is the tough part.