Friday, January 4, 2013

Drunk Mom New Year's Eve 2012

It all started last year - the first year The Husband and I didn't spend New Year's Eve together since we've known each other because he moved to DC. So I did what any normal girl would do...I called the BFF and asked her to come over for what would be an epic night that would forever after be known as Drunk Mom NewYear's Eve ©This year, we did a little something extra besides the drink of the night (Pomosas - pomegranate juice and champagne), drinking game for MTV, and gorging on junk food.  We decided to film the evening AND watch Magic Mike while commentating! Now, we get more hilarious as the evening progresses and becomes full blown Drunk Mom New Year's Eve © - at least we thought we were funny and that's all that matters.  ;)

Sunday, October 7, 2012

T.G.I.F.

Ok, so you're probably thinking to yourself, "Aimee, what is up with the title of this post?  Is the blonde dye for your highlights going to your brain; it's not Friday, it's Sunday."  I'm fully aware of the date, and that is exactly why I'm posting what I am with the title that I did.  To most, "T.G.I.F." stands for "Thank God it's Friday".  For me, it stands for Thank God it's Fall.  Whenever anyone asks me what my favorite season is, I always have to think long and hard.  I automatically write off Summer as a no because I can't stand the heat that comes with that time of year.  If it wasn't for the time off of school, I could do without Summer.  Yes, I like going to the beach and the pool when they are available, but if Summer was gone forever, I wouldn't cry.  I adore Winter, but when the weather gets to the point where everything is frozen and it takes 30 minutes to defrost your car, I'm over it.  But ask any teacher and he/she will tell you that with Winter comes the opportunity for snow days, and NO ONE looks forward to snow days more than teachers.  Sorry, kiddos, but it's a fact!

So, that brings us to Spring and Fall - both of which I really enjoy.  That first change in the weather from what you've been used to.  Those first few days when wearing jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt is the perfect outfit.  How you can have the windows down in your car, and it's not too hot or too cold.  After thinking about it, I remembered how every Spring, my allergies come back with a vengeance and that sucks - ask anyone who would cut a bitch for a Claritin.  And that leaves me with Fall.  I LOVE Fall.  I love how the air becomes more crisp.  I love the smell in the air that comes from people lighting fires at night.  I love all that comes with it, and I thought I'd break it down.  In no particular order:

1) Football Season!
Now there might be some fellow wives/moms who are thinking I'm a traitor to our group, but hear me out.  For those of you who have never sat down and truly watched a game of football, learned the rules, understood how the game works, you are missing out!  There was a time when I could not have cared less about football.  There was a time, before the Pro Bowl came before the Superbowl, when my Superbowl Sunday would occasionally fall on my birthday and I was completely forgotten about.  And if you know me and how much of a Diva I am, that attitude did NOT fly.  I would go to Superbowl parties in college and decide which team I was going to cheer for based on their mascot, or what color their uniforms were, or where they were from.  It was never a choice based on loyalty.  After college, I would watch games from time to time and go with whatever team the guy I was dating supported.  Now, my dad is a die hard Chicago Bears fan.  That team was always on my radar, but since I wasn't into football yet, I didn't give it much thought until about 6 or so years ago.  The Bears were getting ready to play the Colts in the Superbowl and my attention was grabbed.  I pulled out my Urlacher jersey from the closet and went with The Husband to the local Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the game.  From that point, I was hooked.  I actually spent the time to watch the game and learn aspects about it I didn't realize.  Now, I look forward to Sunday afternoons and am teaching CSC the importance of loving the Chicago Bears and the game of football from an early age.

2) Fall festivals and activities
There is nothing like a good Fall festival.  Games, food, good times with great people.  When I was growing up, we had the annual Harvest Festival.  It was awesome!  There were tons of rides and games, great food, and something everyone looked forward to every year.  And let's not forget the super fun activities reserved only for the Fall season: pumpkin picking, Oktoberfest, trick-or-treating, Halloween costumes, drinking hot apple cider, hayrides, chilling around a fire pit with great friends and family, sleeping with the windows open and needing that one extra blanket. - Think the opening of Sex and the City - "I heart NY" episode

3) Sweaters, jeans, and Uggs
I used to HATE Uggs because I thought they were ugly.  But then I drank the Kool-aid and fell in love.  I love when I can check the weather and see it's going to be a little chilly that day.  Not cold enough to bust out the winter coat, but just enough to dress in layers and know that slipping into those comfortable Uggs will be nice and cozy and perfect.

4) New episodes of my favorite TV shows
Not that I have a ton of time to watch TV.  I usually just let my DVR record the episodes and when CSC goes to bed on a Friday or Saturday night, I'll catch up on what I missed.  My heart is broken that there will be no House this season, but I'm psyched about Parenthood and the new NBC and Fox shows that are coming.  

5) That Fall smell in the air
I don't know what it is, but there is a distinct, familiar, crisp smell that comes into the air as soon as the calendar indicates Summer has turned into Fall.  It's the smell of bonfires at night, cooler temperatures, falling leaves.  That smell can bring a smile to my face every time.

6) Pumpkin Picking
It's the best when you find that perfect pumpkin sitting in the patch.  The perfect size for carving or decorating.  It's also interesting to see what other people consider to be the perfect pumpkin.  Thanks to Pinterest, this year I'm hoping to have a super cute pumpkin display for my porch.
7) Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte
'Nuff said.
On a weight loss/heath note...I'm still doing Paleo and feeling better overall.  I'm down a pants size and a half, and I notice that, even without any sort of regular exercise, I'm trimming down in areas I didn't think possible without major exercise.  It also feels good knowing that I'm eating more natural foods, staying away from sugars (which new research is showing a link to many preventable diseases, not just diabetes), and not eating as much chemically processed food.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Mom Problems & What's Up with the Today Show?

Ok, I have a couple of non - weight loss related topics I'd like to discuss.

1. My child takes forEVER on the toilet.
So, we've got the whole potty training thing down - she wears big girl panties and let's me know when she's got to use the potty.  Rocking the diaper at night, but hopefully not for much longer, otherwise she's going to be very embarrassed when she goes off to college if she needs to put Depends on her packing list.  Having said that, every morning when I have to drag her sleepy ass wake her from her slumber, I always ask if she has to use the bathroom.  Sometimes it's no, sometimes it's yes.  This morning it was a yes day, and so on the potty she went.  Allow me to interject an important piece of information: my daughter is almost identical to me in almost every way, right down to the fact that she HATES to get out of bed in the morning.  *Other moms out there whose children wake them up every day at 6 AM, I apologize, and you can feel free to hate me and call me a lucky bitch.* She has actually pulled the pillow over her head, told me to go away, rolled over and ignored me, said she's not done sleeping...you get the point.  As you can imagine, this reluctance to get out of bed in a timely fashion creates a great deal of stress in the morning as not only do I have to hurry my own happy ass up, but now I have to do it with her too.  So, this morning she needs to sit on the potty.  No problem, I tell her I'll be back in a couple minutes and I go and start to get myself dressed and lay out her clothes.  I check back in.

Me: Are you done yet?

CSC: No, I have to poop.

Fuck.

Now this is where she takes after her father.  CSC could probably sit all day on the toilet if I let her.  No question if I gave her a well charged iPad and full access to "Bo on the Go" and "Wonder Pets".  It's to the point where she'll get a red ring around her ass from sitting on the potty for so long.  And believe me, I am encouraging her to get up every time, but it's hard because she's still a rookie at the whole using of the potty and I don't want to cause a set back.  It's happened before, and it's not pretty.  I went and checked on her every couple of minutes this morning to see if poop happened.  Sadly, it had not.  She kept insisting she had to go, and based on the farting and the overall smell in the bathroom, I have no doubt that she was telling the truth.  Since I'm not one to let an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone pass, I brushed her teeth and washed her face and hands while she was sitting on the toilet.  Why not, right?  It's after this that I decide to check what time it is, and I see that it's 7:33.

SHIT!

It takes me 25 solid minutes to get us to school in the morning, and I need to get there by 8.  So I make the executive decision that if shit hadn't happened in the 25 MINUTES she had been sitting on the toilet, then it wasn't going to happen and I needed to make a mental note to add more fiber in her diet.  In what resulted in me freaking out and her crying because I was freaking out and she was upset that her poop time was over, it made for a stressful morning out the door.  It didn't help that she didn't want to contribute in any way by putting on her shoes (she knows how), putting on her jacket (knows how), or putting on her backpack (again, knows how).  I wanted to cry, scream, punch the wall, take a shot of whisky, crawl back in bed myself, but no, I had to get us both to school, and I was praying it wasn't going to be super late as to warrant a "Can I talk to you?" conversation from my boss.

We managed to get to school about 15 minutes late, but it was fine.  But my question is this: How the hell do I deal with her need to take 30 minute shits like her father when we need to get the eff out the door in the morning??

2. WTF Today Show
I like to watch the Today Show as I'm getting ready in the morning.  I'm seriously thinking of switching to Good Morning America and here's why:

As I'm getting dressed this morning and I hear the familiar tones that intro the morning NEWS talk show, I'm listening and half-watching the teaser stories that they are doing to lure you into watching as much as possible, maybe even making yourself late - not like I need any help there - when I hear and see the most asinine, pathetic excuse for a "feature" story.  I just about flipped out when I hear Matt mentioning the last teaser as a Ryan Seacrest interview with Justin Bieber about the Biebs' hair.  That's right - HIS FUCKING HAIR.  Really?!
The super important hair interview
When the hell did the Today Show become Access Hollywood?  Did I miss something somewhere? And on the morning of September 11 this year, during the moment of silence at Ground Zero recognizing when the Towers were hit and when they fell, NBC is interviewing the damn Kardashians!  There wasn't a political analyst or writer, or economic expert available for that time slot?  I get that it's important to remember what happened that day - believe me, I have my own personal memories having the experience of living 30 minutes right outside the city my whole life - but rather than feeling the need to make a big to-do about it every year, we can acknowledge and recognize it in the same way we do Pearl Harbor Day or Veterans' Day or Memorial Day.  We all know why - we don't have to have TV specials about it.  And I think it's great that apparently NBC  has recognized that concept, but the effing Kardashians?  Really?  Come on!  That's embarrassing.  Oh, and don't forget the icing on the cupcake that is the rotation of hosts' "go to" playlists used as bump music bringing the viewers in and out of segments.  Step it up NBC, it's bad enough that conservatives discredit your reports because you tend to be more liberal, but stop give the haters ammo.  If I want to drive myself crazy in the morning, I'll go back to arguing with my 3 year old why it's time to shit or get off the pot.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...